i need help correcting my writing

Question

This is my writing for an assignment about : Describing the Atlantic Ocean.

I need your help in correcting all my mistakes , and i will be grateful if you post your comments and suggestions.

About 71% of the surface of the planet Earth is covered by oceans. There are 5 oceans in the world. The Atlantic Ocean is the second largest body of salt-water on the planet Earth. The ocean's name, derived from Greek mythology, means: The Sea of Atlas. So, where does the Atlantic Ocean located? And what are its area and volume? In this essay we are going to describe the size, water features and marine life of the Atlantic Ocean, and some other additional info.

First, the Atlantic Ocean extends in an S shape, stretching from Arctic to the Antarctic. It is second in size only to the Pacific Ocean. It has an area of 106.4 million Km², covering more than one fifth of the Earth's surface. The volume of the Atlantic is 354 million Km³. The average depth of the Atlantic Oceans is 3,338 meters. The width of the Atlantic varies from 2,848 Km to 4,830 Km. Generally, the waters at the surface of the Atlantic Ocean are saltier than those of any other ocean. The Atlantic Ocean has a salinity value of about 3.3 to 3.7 per cent by mass, which presents the presence of salt in its water. Furthermore, the surface water temperatures of the Atlantic range from -2 Cº to 29 Cº. The Atlantic Ocean takes a high economical importance, due to its natural resources, such as: gas and petroleum fields. Moreover, the Atlantic has a varied marine life. It is the home of a wide range of creatures, like: fish and marine mammals (seals and whales).

In this essay, we discussed the geographical properties, water characteristics and natural resources of the Atlantic Ocean. The Atlantic Ocean is one of our planet greatest treasures. It plays a special act in balancing the geographical character of the Earth and developing the economical process with its natural resources. In the same time, some current environment issues like marine pollution are affecting harmfully on the wealthy marine life of the Atlantic Ocean.

Thnanks in advance !

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

I've made some edits and suggestions, so please read carefully.

Try not to repeat words, eg "Atlantic', 'ocean', more than is necessary. eg use a pronoun.

For formal college-style essays, avoid saying 'I' or 'we'.

Clive

About 71% of the surface of the planet Earth is covered by oceans. There are 5 in the world. The Atlantic is the second-largest body of salt-water on Earth. Its name, derived from Greek mythology, means: The Sea of Atlas. So, where is the the Atlantic Ocean located, and what are its area and volume? This essay will describe the size, water features and marine life of the Atlantic, as well as providing some other features.

The Atlantic Ocean extends in an 'S' shape, stretching from the Arctic to the Antarctic. It is second in size only to the Pacific. It has an area of 106.4 million Km², covering more than one fifth of the Earth's surface. Its volume is 354 million Km³, and its average depth is 3,338 meters. The width of the Atlantic varies from 2,848 km to 4,830 km. Generally, the waters at its surface are saltier than those of any other ocean. They have a salinity value of about 3.3 to 3.7 per cent by mass, which represents the presence of salt. Furthermore, the surface water temperatures of the Atlantic range from -2 Cº to 29 Cº. It has great economic importance, due to its natural resources, such as gas and petroleum fields. What about its role in trade and transportation? Moreover, there is a wide variety of marine life. It is the home of a wide range of creatures, including fish and marine mammals such as seals and whales.

This essay has discussed the geographical properties, water characteristics and natural resources of the Atlantic Ocean, which is one of our planet's greatest treasures. It plays a special act in balancing the geographical character of the Earth <<< what does this mean? and developing the economical process with its natural resources. <<< say this last part of the sentence in another way At the same time, there are some current environmental issues, such as pollution's harmful effect on the Atlantic's rich marine life.

Dr.Dhaif · Answer

Thank you Mr.Clive for your help and the useful suggestions you added.

I read it carefully , and re-write it with some changes .. here it goes:

About 71% of the surface of the planet Earth is covered by oceans. There are 5 in the world. The Atlantic is the second largest body of salt-water on Earth. Its name, derived from Greek mythology, means: The Sea of Atlas. So, where is the Atlantic Ocean located, and what are its area and volume? This essay will describe the size, water features and marine life of the Atlantic, as well as providing some other features.

The Atlantic Ocean extends in an 'S' shape, stretching from Arctic to the Antarctic. It is second in size only to the Pacific. It has an area of 106.4 million Km², covering more than one fifth of the Earth's surface. Its volume is 354 million Km³, and its average depth is 3,338 meters. The width of the Atlantic varies from 2,848 Km to 4,830 Km. Generally, the waters at the surface of the Atlantic Ocean are saltier than those of any other ocean. They have a salinity value of about 3.3 to 3.7 per cent by mass, which represents the presence of salt. Furthermore, the surface water temperatures of the Atlantic range from -2 Cº to 29 Cº. The Atlantic Ocean has great economic importance, due to its natural resources, such as gas and petroleum fields. In addition, it has some of the world's busiest shipping lanes. Moreover, there is a wide variety of marine life in the Atlantic Ocean. It is the home of a wide range of creatures, including fish and marine mammals such as seals and whales.

This essay has discussed the geographical properties, water characteristics and natural resources of the Atlantic Ocean, which is one of our planet greatest treasures. The Atlantic Ocean can provide three renewable sources of energy: the first relies on temperature differences, the other two on water movement. At the same time, there are some current environmental issues, such as pollution's harmful effect on the Atlantic's rich marine life.

Clive · Answer

Hi,

About 71% of the surface of the planet Earth is covered by oceans. There are 5 in the world. The Atlantic is the second largest body of salt-water in the world. Its name, derived from Greek mythology, means 'The Sea of Atlas'. So, where is the Atlantic Ocean located, and what are its area and volume? This essay will describe the size, water features and marine life of the Atlantic, as well as providing some other features.

The Atlantic Ocean extends in an 'S' shape, stretching from the Arctic to the Antarctic. It is second in size only to the Pacific. It has an area of 106.4 million Km², covering more than one fifth of the Earth's surface. Its volume is 354 million Km³, and its average depth is 3,338 meters. The width of the Atlantic varies from 2,848 Km to 4,830 Km. Generally, the waters at its surface are saltier than those of any other ocean. They have a salinity value of about 3.3 to 3.7 per cent by mass, which represents the presence of considerable salt. Furthermore, the surface water temperatures of the Atlantic range from -2 Cº to 29 Cº. This ocean has great economic importance due to its natural resources, such as gas and petroleum fields. In addition, it has some of the world's busiest shipping lanes. Moreover, there is a wide variety of marine life in the Atlantic. It is the home of a wide range of creatures, including fish and marine mammals such as seals and whales.

This essay has discussed the geographical properties, water characteristics and natural resources of the Atlantic Ocean, which is one of our planet's greatest treasures. The Atlantic Ocean offers three renewable sources of energy: the first relies on temperature differences, and the other two on water movement. At the same time, there are some current environmental issues, such as pollution's harmful effect on the Atlantic's rich marine life.

One final comment. Try not to introduce new information (eg the three energy sources) in your conclusion. Mention this in the body of your essay.

Best wishes, Clive

Dr.Dhaif · Answer

Thanks again Mr. Clive for your great help !

That was a lot .. I appreciate it very much.

BarbaraPA · Answer

A final comment: It's the second largest body of water in the world. If you say it's the second largest body of salt water, it sounds like there are fresh water lakes that are even larger, which of course, is not the case.

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