I need an urgent review of my motivation letter to British University, please

Please, help me

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the Master in Translation at *** University starting in September 2012. In June 2012 I will graduate with a Bachelor degree in Translation studies and I would like to continue my education at your university as it offers a program that entirely meets the requirements for my future career. The course I have chosen makes an emphasis on specialized translation and I’m particularly interested in Law and Business spheres. Besides, I find one of the core modules of the course structure, work placement, very useful as it will help me to gain more professional experience. Upon graduation I plan to return to (country), it is a rapidly developing country so a great number of foreign enterprises and international branch offices are located in its territory. That is where qualified translators of various fields of knowledge are highly required.

Being a school student I used to translate lyrics of foreign songs with the help of a small school dictionary as I didn’t have an access to the Internet. I tried to rhyme lines so it would be possible to sing a song in Russian. That creative process of translation fascinated me and I decided for myself that my future career would be connected with languages. I participated in a regional Russian language and literature competition while being in school and took third place. During my first year at university, I achieved a GPA of 3.91 and earned a scholarship for the next six semesters. Throughout my academic career I have been among the top three students of the Department. I began learning English, Italian as well as French in l’Alliançe française in my city. I managed to reach an upper-intermediate level of French in eight months as I needed to develop one more foreign language at the same level as English. Since I believe that the more languages a translator knows the more called-for he or she is. Beginning from my first year at university I took part as a volunteer in various high-level conferences and forums held in my city: I accompanied foreign delegations, worked as a translator, an interpreter and a guide. My volunteer work has helped me to develop my abilities in oral and written communication, good reaction as I often had to take quick decisions, to be responsible that is to meet deadlines as well as to collaborate with others because volunteer work presupposes a personal contact with people from different circles. I significantly improved my skills of Italian by doing an internship in an engineering company Renko AK last winter during a month. I worked as an Italian-Russian translator and obtained knowledge of technical and building terminology. Currently, I’m working as a freelance guide in a travel agency so I can constantly practice foreign languages.

My extracurricular activities in one way or another are associated with languages. I write poems, short stories, concert scenarios and lyrics in Russian, Kazakh and English. Many of my lyrics were set to music and three songs were awarded a prize in regional song contests. Moreover, I’m deeply interested in music. I play Kazakh national instrument Dombyra and have been singing in a pop group for five years that is why I often perform at university concerts and plays. So my interests helped me to develop creative thinking, to overcome stage fright and to be more open and relaxed.

Given my past record of achievement, practical experience and passion for languages, I’m confident that I will exceed your expectations.

Thank you for reviewing my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours truly,

Aima Seitova