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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Vocabulary
I just desperately need help
i just need a second opinion on my corrected paragraph.
Original Paragraph: One should never accept another persons opinion about a movie unless you know they have the same theatrical tastes as you. For example, the movie Pulp Fiction. I liked the character development and the action but my girlfriend didn’t like it. Being from a small town, the movie storyline was not appealing, I guess one never knows how some people will react to certain movies.
Corrected paragraph: One should never accept another person’s opinion about a movie unless one knows that the other person has the same theatrical tastes as him or her. For example, the movie Pulp Fiction; I liked the character development and the action, but my girlfriend did not. Because she was from a small town, the movie’s story line was not appealing to her. I guess one never knows how some people will react to certain movies.
Original Paragraph: One should never accept another persons opinion about a movie unless you know they have the same theatrical tastes as you. For example, the movie Pulp Fiction. I liked the character development and the action but my girlfriend didn’t like it. Being from a small town, the movie storyline was not appealing, I guess one never knows how some people will react to certain movies.
Corrected paragraph: One should never accept another person’s opinion about a movie unless one knows that the other person has the same theatrical tastes as him or her. For example, the movie Pulp Fiction; I liked the character development and the action, but my girlfriend did not. Because she was from a small town, the movie’s story line was not appealing to her. I guess one never knows how some people will react to certain movies.
Top answer
Change the first 'one' to 'you' instead of changing the other pronouns. It is too stiff now.
- Change the first 'one' to 'you' instead of changing the other pronouns.
- It is too stiff now.
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1 Answers
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Change the first 'one' to 'you' instead of changing the other pronouns. It is too stiff now.
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