I hope you all here will help me. If i wirte this essay, what is the core i got in ielts? Please help me

The topic: some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of cociety. Others , however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

My essay:

Nowadays, when the society as soon as development. More and more family consider home is a good place to guide children learn how to be a good manner. Otherwise, many people think children need to learn at school. I suppose bother idea all have advantages. I will argue all two idea.

First of all, the reason that parent think home is a best place to learn about society is they can spend a lot of time with their children and instruct themthe way to learn. For instance: through comedy book or television programmers for children they will analyse many cacs and the way to resolve with these. Beside that, every mother or father or even every member of family will became a good manner and the best behavior in society, so that all their children will learn from them easily.

Second of this argument, school also a good place to all children learn. Firstly, they can get a good construction from their teacher who will take many good case in book or in normal life, then throgh that they explain for children with their professional skill, which absolutely make student remember quite quickly and easy to apply it in their life. The second of this is at school, they have a lot of friends who have diffirent characters and many ways to react, so that they can easily to use all the method and how to deal with it. As a result, they exactly cn take experience through everycase.

Teaching children at home or at school all have spectature advantages so the good idea is put two method interation.