I have dated

Question

Hi, Why do we use the present perfect in cases like these:She's the only girl I've dated. etcIt may be because it's important to the present, right?

RandomGuy · Accepted Answer

Yes.

Regards · Answer

Hi,

AnonymousIt may be because it's important to the present, right?

Because it has relevance for the present.

Regards

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousWhy do we use the present perfect in cases like these:She's the only girl I've dated.

You are revealing your current status with regard to dating. It's like opening your diary to the world.

Sometimes this usage is called the experiential present perfect. It's a summary of your experience up to now with regard to whatever you are talking about.

CJ

Anonymous · Answer

Oh, something just occurred to me!
Let's say that I've never dated a girl. And I want to express that fact through regret. Something like: I wish I dated a girl. That would be the present.
I wish I had dated a girl. That would be the past.

How do I say that I've never had a girlfried and I wish I dated her at least once in my lifetime?

Anonymous · Answer

One more thing. You'll see that I've written 'that would be the present'. Do both 'that would be the present' and 'that's the present' work in that context?

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousLet's say that I've never dated a girl. And I want to express that fact through regret. Something like: I wish I dated a girl. That would be the present.

Something like. But not that exactly. For a regretful wish about the past you'll need "I wish I had dated a girl". Some people do accept "I wish I dated a girl", however, as a substitute.

AnonymousThat would be the present.

No. The wish is in the present; the non-dating, in the past. For the fictitious present you'll need an -ing form:

I wish I were dating a girl.

AnonymousHow do I say that I've never had a girlfriend and I wish I dated her ( ? ) at least once in my lifetime?

I've never had a girlfriend. I wish I had dated (a girl) at least once in my lifetime.

CJ

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousOne more thing. You'll see that I've written 'that would be the present'. Do both 'that would be the present' and 'that's the present' work in that context?

Yes.

CJ

Anonymous · Answer

CalifJimNo. The wish is in the present; the non-dating, in the past. For the fictitious present you'll need an -ing form:I wish I were dating a girl.

How so? Take a look at this online guide: http://www.myenglishpages.com/site_php_files/grammar-lesson-if-only.php

1.Wish, wanting change for the present or future with the simple past.

So if I wanted to express just a wish in the present, I could say: I wish I dated a girl. Right?

Aren't these two interchangeable in this case? I wish I dated a girl. and I wish I were dating a girl.

Yes, the non-dating is in the past. I'm talking about the present now, though.
____
Getting back to the 'at least once in my lifetime' case.

'I wish I had dated a girl at least once in my lifetime.' - Does this sentence still imply the present? It must because I added 'at least once in my lifetime'.

I wish I'd never met you. - This one only implies the past. Right? Because I met you.

CalifJim · Answer

AnonymousHow so? Take a look at this online guide ...

The only examples they give are 'knew' and 'were' -- both stative. 'to date (a girl)' is not stative. Their rule only works with stative verbs, in my opinion.

AnonymousSo if I wanted to express just a wish in the present, I could say: I wish I dated a girl. Right?

Not right in my opinion. Some people use that, but I don't see it as correct. It's not stative, so the present action should be expressed with an -ingform, as I illustrated in a previous post.

AnonymousAren't these two interchangeable in this case? I wish I dated a girl. and I wish I were dating a girl.

No, as explained above.

Anonymous'I wish I had dated a girl at least once in my lifetime.' - Does this sentence still imply the present? It must because I added 'at least once in my lifetime'.

I wish I had ...never implies the present. No (except insofar as the wish itself is in the present). Your additional 'at least ...' phrase has nothing to do with it.

AnonymousI wish I'd never met you. - This one only implies the past. Right? Because I met you.

It only implies the past because it has I wish I'd = I wish I had. It has nothing to do with "I met you". The fact of the situation is always the reverse of the clause content.

I wish I had dated > I didn't date.
I wish I hadn't met > I did meet you.

CJ

Anonymous · Answer

CalifJimIt only implies the past because it has I wish I'd = I wish I had. It has nothing to do with "I met you".

CalifJimI wish I hadn't met > I did meet you.

That's what I thought.
I met you = I did meet you.

I have dated

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