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Panda mango 275 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

I have a writing task 2, could you check the mistakes, give me the corrections,... ? And it is my honor if you could give me the band score.

Many elderly are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages ?
The situation of sending the old to retirement homes is now a trend . Although there are some certain benefits, the downsides are worth considering . In this essay, both of the outcomes will be discussed Transmitting the elderly to such units may benefit greatly in terms of providing those people with specified services . Those may include : proper and timely medical cares, appropriate therapies, which cannot be done at home where professional personnels are hardly available . The reason for which this group of people really requires such intensive care is that the elderly are so vulnerable that they are always as risks of suffering from heart attack, diabetes and a variety of medical complications. For example, there are a great many care homes such as 24 plus hospital Medical Care saving countless cases of heart attack . So it is essential that the old be taken to these care units. However, this is not always the case.In fact, conveying the older ones in families to care homes and nursing centers would somehow be inhumane and offending the filial duty among children. Due to the fact that parents have risked their lives producing offsprings and dedicated their time to giving sufficient cares in terms of education, physical as well as mental health, the method of putting the aged parents to such centers is somehow a kind of betrayal an reflects their absence of filial piety. Each year, 24 plus hospital estimated that over 80% of their patients were suffering from not only underlying diseases but also depression due to the lack of their children's care.In conclusion, the advantages and disadvantages in fact parallel with each other, they depend on each family’s conditions. However the negativity is actual and should be taken into consideration.
  

Top answer

An essay must have four or five paragraphs, not one. You will lose points for lack of structure. Put a blank line between paragraphs.

  • An essay must have four or five paragraphs, not one.
  • You will lose points for lack of structure.
  • Put a blank line between paragraphs.
  • Never mention your essay.
  • Write a thesis statement.
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1 Answers
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An essay must have four or five paragraphs, not one. You will lose points for lack of structure. Put a blank line between paragraphs.

Never mention your essay. Write a thesis statement.


The situation of sending the old to retirement homes is now a trend . Although there are some certain benefits, the downsides are worth considering . In this essay, both of the

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