I and Me

Question

Hi,Is is correct English to say "me and my friend" or "my friend and I". When, if ever, do we use "me" first?

Kooyeen · Accepted Answer

It's ok to use "me" first when it's an object of a verb:
They hit me and my friend with a baseball bat. (or ...hit my friend and me with...)

When it's the subject, some people don't accept it and say it's odd. In ESL tests it would be considered a mistake too. However, some people find nothing wrong with it, and you can hear it in everyday English:
Me and my friend were going to Alabama, and... (but: My friend and me were... is not common)
My friend and I were going to Alabama, and... (but: I and my friend were... is not common)

That's what I think and how I use "me".

BarbaraPA · Answer

I tried to post this earlier but I had access issues. Kooyeen is qutie correct, except that "Me and my friend are going" is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me. Anyway, here are my thoughts:

It can be correct to say either "my friend and I" or "my friend and me" depending on whether you and your friend are the subjects of the sentence or the objects.

My friend and I are going to the mall.

He invited both my friend and me.

By convention, we put the other person first, but there is nothing wrong with saying "He invited both me and my friend."

If you say "I and my friend are going to the mall" it will sound off to most natives.

Dido · Answer

The British Queen always says "My husband and I" and my British friends usually make jokes about it<img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/2.gif' alt='Emotion: big smile'/>

Rotter · Answer

In English and many other languages, you place the other party first.

My wife and I are ...

My girlfriend and I are ...

My friend and I are ...

You and I are idiots/intellectuals.

This is to pay some respect or rather give priority to the other party.

BarbaraPA · Answer

DidoThe British Queen always says "My husband and I" and my British friends usually make jokes about it

Why is that funny?

Delmobile · Answer

GG, I am ashamed to admit that I say "me and..." all the time as a subject. (Of course, I LIVE in Alabama.) It's not that I don't "know" better, it's just that in some contexts the right way sounds so stuffy to my ear.

However, there is never any excuse for "between you and I."

BarbaraPA · Answer

DelmobileHowever, there is never any excuse for "between you and I."

Ugh!

Kooyeen · Answer

DelmobileGG, I am ashamed to admit that I say "me and..." all the time as a subject. It's not that I don't "know" better, it's just that in some contexts the right way sounds so stuffy to my ear.

Yeah! Whoo-hoo, you rock! I love you!
Ok, sorry for my enthusiasm... that was too much, LOL

Seriously, I'm glad to read that someone says "me" as subject all the time and it does sound good to them... Because everytime I saw learners ask about it (me included), the use of "me" as subject was treated like it was the most odd and childish expression on earth, just used by unducated people. So I just couldn't understand why I was hearing that all the time.

Dido · Answer

Grammar Geek
DidoThe British Queen always says "My husband and I" and my British friends usually make jokes about it
Why is that funny?

They just laugh at her accent (My friends do not belong to the Royals

Delmobile · Answer

Don't worry about your enthusiasm, I can take it in the right way

It's completely a question of context, of course. For example, at a conference with my child's teacher, I would never say, "Me and Gidget's daddy are really worried about her math grade." Or when asking for a zoning variance at a City Council meeting, say, "Me and the contractor have been trying very hard to comply with the architecture board's regulations."

Oddly enough, I find it a useful way, in informal conversation, to put myself first. (The rule about always putting the other person first ("Janet and I") is inviolable unless you're using "me." I would never, never say "I and Janet" or worse, the low-sounding "myself and Janet.") Suppose I've had a conversation at the grocery store with a couple of strangers---I would feel more comfortable reporting to a friend, "Me and a few other people had been waiting in line for about ten minutes.." than to say "A few other people and I..."

I guess I will have to start checking to see if people wince when I talk

I and Me

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