I am writing a letter

My illness was cause for concern for my Amy Smith and so, she notified Bob Smith of my student residence and he kindly asked if security would come to my door and check if I was experiencing any difficulties, and to which I told them I would re-establish communication with her and indeed, I did; though unfortunately as I had missed out on a substantial amount of teaching between September 2013 and February 2014, this in tandem with my poor mind-set meant my redeeming or remedying of the situation to be impossible. And so, the purpose of this form is to ask your permission for a second chance so that my returning to my course won’t carry forward the mistakes from the past; those which were the result of one cause, my illness

Does all of that make perfect sense? I don't care if it's not written in diluted 'plain English' but I do care if it's grammatically incorrect.