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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing
I am looking for a native english speaker to tell me if there is any mistake in a little text I wrote. I am a French student !
That is the text I wrote. It is about my background :
"My background and professional plans.
In this little written work, I would like to expose my background and my professional plans, and the continuity which exists between the first and the second ones. With the ambition to remain the clearer possible, I will begin in the first part to depict the job that I would like to do after I am graduated. In the second part, I will describe my personal background, highlighting every parts of it that I think will be useful for the job I want to do.
After I obtain a Master of Arts of “Comparative government science”, I would like to be an “attaché territorial”. This job consists, inside local administrations, of activities of management, of realization of studies, and of participating in design and implementation of public policy. What I like the most in this job is that it involves very different kinds of activities. It is also a job which is often very praised by the people who do it : for instance, Charlotte DEMESTRE, who is an alumni of Sciences Po Grenoble, describes a job of “attaché territorial” which allows to conciliate interesting work, responsibilities and a good salary, which is according to her very rare in the public sector.
The “attaché territorial” can work in a public institution, or in a territorial collectivity : a municipality, a department or a region. For my part, I would like to work in the municipality of Lyon, a city that I love and where I have lived several years of my life.
Because the activities of a local administration are very various, the “attaché territorial” has to choose between five specialties : general administration, animation, management of the sanitary and social sector, analysis and urban planning. It it personally the specialty “general administration” I am interested in, particularly because it involves very broad field of action : human resources, finances, public markets, etc.
To finish, I will add that “Attaché territorial” is a job of the public sector ; consequently, a concourse must be passed to occupy this function. The concourse is composed of a test of admissibility which is an essay and a summary on a topic of the specialty chosen and of a test of admission which is an interview and a language test.
I am now going to come back to my background. Firstly, I must say that I have spent almost all my school career in the field of sciences. I began in the world of “hard sciences”, with three years of preparation of a Baccalaureate “Sciences and technologies of laboratory” and one first year of a Bachelor of arts in Biology. I have continued in the world of social sciences, with three years of a Bachelor in Sociology in the University of Strasbourg, a “Maîtrise” in Political science from the University Lyon 2 and, if everything continues to go well, a Master of arts in “Comparative government sciences” from the “grande école” Sciences Po Grenoble. From this very scientific school career, I have obtained a real taste for objectivity, a capacity of analyze and an ability for rigorous work that I think are very valued in a job which requires to know very well the society in order to change it. During my school years, I have also developed a great drifting skill, which in my opinion essential for this job. I can't neglect either the fact that I have learnt a lot during these last years about the organization and the functioning of the public sector.
Secondly, I would like to underscore several experiences I have in the associative sector. During one year, I have made a civic service in a district in Lyon which have been for a long time described as a “difficult district” : the “La Duchère” neighborhood. I worked in a Social center which has, as a primary role, to help the local initiatives and to endorse the local associations. In this institution, my activities were very numerous and very different. A very important experience for me was to make several projects both with actors of the associative sector and public institutions. During my civic service I also organized and participated in a lot of reunions ; an aspect of my work that I want to underscore given that a big part of the time of an “attaché territorial” is also used for this activity. After my civic service I became a volunteer in New Zealand for seven months via the network “Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms”. That is a period during which I gained a lot in terms of independence and maturity. A free computer course for old people that I organized and animated , for four months, gave me as well the opportunity to develop a capacity to explain clearly and with patience what I have to say. I hope that these few experiences - I have decided not to expose every one of them - show my big interest for the common good and why I would be a great “attaché territorial”.
"
If you have any corrections or suggestions I am here ! I am still learning !
"My background and professional plans.
In this little written work, I would like to expose my background and my professional plans, and the continuity which exists between the first and the second ones. With the ambition to remain the clearer possible, I will begin in the first part to depict the job that I would like to do after I am graduated. In the second part, I will describe my personal background, highlighting every parts of it that I think will be useful for the job I want to do.
After I obtain a Master of Arts of “Comparative government science”, I would like to be an “attaché territorial”. This job consists, inside local administrations, of activities of management, of realization of studies, and of participating in design and implementation of public policy. What I like the most in this job is that it involves very different kinds of activities. It is also a job which is often very praised by the people who do it : for instance, Charlotte DEMESTRE, who is an alumni of Sciences Po Grenoble, describes a job of “attaché territorial” which allows to conciliate interesting work, responsibilities and a good salary, which is according to her very rare in the public sector.
The “attaché territorial” can work in a public institution, or in a territorial collectivity : a municipality, a department or a region. For my part, I would like to work in the municipality of Lyon, a city that I love and where I have lived several years of my life.
Because the activities of a local administration are very various, the “attaché territorial” has to choose between five specialties : general administration, animation, management of the sanitary and social sector, analysis and urban planning. It it personally the specialty “general administration” I am interested in, particularly because it involves very broad field of action : human resources, finances, public markets, etc.
To finish, I will add that “Attaché territorial” is a job of the public sector ; consequently, a concourse must be passed to occupy this function. The concourse is composed of a test of admissibility which is an essay and a summary on a topic of the specialty chosen and of a test of admission which is an interview and a language test.
I am now going to come back to my background. Firstly, I must say that I have spent almost all my school career in the field of sciences. I began in the world of “hard sciences”, with three years of preparation of a Baccalaureate “Sciences and technologies of laboratory” and one first year of a Bachelor of arts in Biology. I have continued in the world of social sciences, with three years of a Bachelor in Sociology in the University of Strasbourg, a “Maîtrise” in Political science from the University Lyon 2 and, if everything continues to go well, a Master of arts in “Comparative government sciences” from the “grande école” Sciences Po Grenoble. From this very scientific school career, I have obtained a real taste for objectivity, a capacity of analyze and an ability for rigorous work that I think are very valued in a job which requires to know very well the society in order to change it. During my school years, I have also developed a great drifting skill, which in my opinion essential for this job. I can't neglect either the fact that I have learnt a lot during these last years about the organization and the functioning of the public sector.
Secondly, I would like to underscore several experiences I have in the associative sector. During one year, I have made a civic service in a district in Lyon which have been for a long time described as a “difficult district” : the “La Duchère” neighborhood. I worked in a Social center which has, as a primary role, to help the local initiatives and to endorse the local associations. In this institution, my activities were very numerous and very different. A very important experience for me was to make several projects both with actors of the associative sector and public institutions. During my civic service I also organized and participated in a lot of reunions ; an aspect of my work that I want to underscore given that a big part of the time of an “attaché territorial” is also used for this activity. After my civic service I became a volunteer in New Zealand for seven months via the network “Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms”. That is a period during which I gained a lot in terms of independence and maturity. A free computer course for old people that I organized and animated , for four months, gave me as well the opportunity to develop a capacity to explain clearly and with patience what I have to say. I hope that these few experiences - I have decided not to expose every one of them - show my big interest for the common good and why I would be a great “attaché territorial”.
"
If you have any corrections or suggestions I am here ! I am still learning !
Top answer
You need to express your ideas in a simpler and more direct way. Start by introducing yourself, then talk about your background, achievements, areas of interest, why you want to do that program, your career aspirations and goals in life. It's also important that you organize these under distinct paragraphs.
- You need to express your ideas in a simpler and more direct way.
- Start by introducing yourself, then talk about your background, achievements, areas of interest, why you want to do that program, your career aspirations and goals in life.
- It's also important that you organize these under distinct paragraphs.
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1 Answers
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You need to express your ideas in a simpler and more direct way. Start by introducing yourself, then talk about your background, achievements, areas of interest, why you want to do that program, your career aspirations and goals in life. It's also important that you organize these under distinct paragraphs.
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