I am having problems to describe a person.

Hi, can anyone look over this paragraph too? I thought that I was describing her, but my teacher said that this is a story, not what he wants. I don't know what to do, please help... Thanks!

Who is she? And would she be qualified for the job?

Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton is a woman, a mother, a wife, an advocate, an author, former US senator; she was the First Lady of Arkansas, and former First Lady of The United States. Today, she is the United States Secretary of State after being a leading candidate for the presidency in the 2008 elections. She was raised in a middle-class family in Illinois. She started her career as a lawyer in the 1970s; she moved to Arkansas and married Bill Clinton in 1975, the 42^nd President of United States in between 1993 to 2001. Hillary turned into one of Americans foremost advocates for children and families. She was voted twice as one of the most influential lawyers in America. Ms. Clinton is very intelligent and hard work like others. Some writers even compared her with John Kennedy. She has so many complements about her job as attorney and as a senator. For a woman, sometimes life is not easy; however, she works in an environment where most of her coworkers are men. For any person to have the prestige and to get where she is now needs to be really strong and competent.