How's my University Motivation letter?

I'd appreciate feedback from those with experience in writing these letters pls. I have to present a formal letter of motivation for possible entrance at a German university in two week's time. This is my first draft, I'm not quite satisfied with the result yet I feel it's a good start.

Thanks

Dear Sir or Madam,

First of all, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to provide additional background information to support my application to enter the International Business Management (MBA) program at ********* during the 2012 winter term.

I received my high school diploma in 1996 in the United States but a few months after graduating, I moved to Costa Rica to continue with my college education. In September of 1998 I began studies at the ************; I was a full time student, full time employee and full time mother so discipline, dedication and commitment were crucial for me to succeed. I completed the study program in December 2002 obtaining an average score of 89.06% yet due to personal reasons I decided to wait to receive my Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations in the graduating class of May 2007, ranking number one.

I’ve been employed at the same company since 1998 where I started as an agent, within a few months I moved up the ladder and since 2000 I’ve worked in various management positions. Some say that I’m a natural born leader but leadership requires passion, dedication and the never ending desire for ongoing education so I’ve tried not to settle on what I already know and instead seek for as many professional and personal growing experiences as I could possibly get my hands on. In 2007, I received a Customer Service Trainer certification in the United States, that certification got me exposed to training opportunities here in Costa Rica. Last year I enrolled at the German ******* Costa Rica to learn the language, at first I was concerned that I had gotten myself into chewing much more than what I could bite on but after successfully completing the A1 level of the language and meeting many wonderful German speaking individuals I now find myself wanting to expand the experience, in Germany if you accept me as a student.

I would love to attend the ******* for several reasons; first, I am confident that by obtaining a Masters degree at ***** Business School I will gain the skills, knowledge and contacts that will help me establish a consulting firm in Costa Rica to support businesses in Europe, Latin America and North America. Second, I am certain that the cultural and international experience will open up many opportunities to improve my family’s quality of life and whilst I know that it will be difficult to leave my daughter behind for a year I know the sacrifice is well worth it. Last but certainly not least, I am looking forward to meeting different people and different cultures, especially the German culture and its language which I consider interesting.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely,