How would you correct this sentence?

Question

Hello, wow would you correct the following sentence?

"His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 and has supernatural abilities."

a) "His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, who is born in the year 2500 and has supernatural abilities."

or

b) His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 with supernatural abilities."

Thanks

Acosta · Accepted Answer

anyone?

Cwtch · Answer

Hello, wow would you correct the following sentence?

"His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 ~~and~~ who has supernatural abilities."

a) "His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, who is was born in the year 2500 and has supernatural abilities." The verb tense here is tricky. The one tense we know that it is not, is the present tense. It depends on the time of the person being quoted. If this is a sci-fi story and someone in 2600 is looking back at the event, then the word is was. If it is someone from today looking forward, then it should be 'who will be born', or'. who won't (even) be born until 2500'. We never really use is in reference to being born. Unless, the birth is happening right now, it is a future or past event. And even if it is happening right now it will be present progressive tense - He is being born right now. Not something we say much. Generally, we talk about the birth as an event for the mother. She is in labor right now. I guess you could say, "How's your son?"

"I'm not sure; he's being born right now." LOL

I highlighted 'has' in magenta because it could be either has, had or will have. It depends whether the speaker is looking forward or backwards. If it is from someone looking forward, the correct choice is will have. It also will vary if it is from someone looking backwards. If Steve is still alive in the speakers time then he has supernatural abilities. If he is already dead in the speakers time then he had...

or

b) His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 with supernatural abilities." This sentence works as is and is a better choice.

Thanks

Avangi · Answer

acosta b) His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 with supernatural abilities."

His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500, who has supernatural abilities.

Patrick Lockerby · Answer

I agree that (b) is best.

It works for the reader regardless of the year in which it is being read, before or after the birth date given.

Patrick Lockerby · Answer

Note to admins:

My suggested correct answer should have been cwth's answer -
the screen scrolled as I clicked the button.

Avangi · Answer

acosta b) His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 with supernatural abilities."

His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500, who has supernatural abilities.

Edit.

I felt that (b), as it is, doesn't give enough stress to "supernatural abilities." As the second modifying phrase, it seemed to be sucking hind teat, as the farmers say.
By making it a clause, its importance seems to be restored.

I tried to post this about three hours ago but I got a message that the site server was not responding.

Yrreg · Answer

"His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 and has supernatural abilities."

That above is your original version.

It is good enough for me, the grammar is correct and I get your mind and heart perfectly.

Write as to be clear to your readers and don't get overly fussy with minutiae.

Has anyone noticed that this is a very slow forum in the sense that you have to wait for a page to download like the present page much much longer than in other forums?

I am sure it must be from the part of people in charge of the forum and not from members reading and writing messages here.

Please do something to improve its operation, people in charge.

Yrreg (Gerry)

Cwtch · Answer

Welcome to the forum,

"His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 and has supernatural abilities."

That above is your original version.

It is good enough for me, the grammar is correct and I get your mind and heart perfectly.

Write as to be clear to your readers and don't get overly fussy with minutiae. I agree to a certain extent yet sometimes I love the minutiae. And we certainly explore the minutiae on this site. Sometimes you need to be extra-special, super-duper clear and detailed for ESL people to understand.

Has anyone noticed that this is a very slow forum in the sense that you have to wait for a page to download like the present page much much longer than in other forums? It has been particularly slow the last couple of days. Usually, I only have to wait when I actually post. Doesn't bother me so much...I love the forum.

I am sure it must be from the part of people in charge of the forum and not from members reading and writing messages here.

Please do something to improve its operation, people in charge.

Avangi · Answer

Yrreg"His stories are about a boy called Steve Smith, born in the year 2500 and has supernatural abilities."

It is good enough for me, the grammar is ~~correct~~ incorrect.

you have to wait for a page to download like the present page much much longer than in other forums? It takes most people longer to notice.The devil is in the details. [6] Sometimes slower is better.

Acosta · Answer

Thank you very much!

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