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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

how will (college of choice)benefit you.

I need help. please correct my essay. This is what I have.

Growing up my parents would set these high expectations for me, they were almost impossible to reach but I knew I only know its because they wanted the best for me. I motivate myself in reaching these expectations. The would bombard me about college and what I wanted out of life. They paint this perfect picture of me in their heads and the first thing they see me doing is going off to attend college especially for my father, his priority for me was always to further my education in New York.
So to speak (college of choice? First caught my attention at a college fair. I found their display fascinating as they continued to pursue me, elucidating the life of a (college of choice) student, then and there I knew (college of choice) was the college for me. Furthering my education at (college of choice) will me beneficial in a ample number of ways, not only to me but the county, my family and the college itself. It will also boost my career potential. A higher education at (college of choice) will give me a wider range of opportunities to grow academically while going in a once in a life time journey. Having such experience at your college I will also me exposed to different culture s and race, rich cultural and social scene even with a more rewarding career and a brighter future. (College of choice will give me a chance to be adventurous and explore the unknown first hand.

Please format and let me know what you think. -AJ
  

Top answer

Anonymous let me know what you think. I think you need to make a serious effort to proofread and format it yourself before you bother us. — Anonymous but I knew I only know its because

  • Anonymous let me know what you think.
  • I think you need to make a serious effort to proofread and format it yourself before you bother us.
  • — Anonymous but I knew I only know its because
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2 Answers
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Anonymouslet me know what you think.
I think you need to make a serious effort to proofread and format it yourself before you bother us. Just look at this from your first sentence!—
Anonymous but I knew I only know its because
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AnonymousPlease format and let me know what you think. -AJ
Is the motivation your parents' or yours?
Pleasing parents is for a young child; when a child grows up, his motivations should stem from inside himself. You have not expressed these internal motivations very well.

Your English is good enough to for you to proofread and format the text bef

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