How to rephrase this sentence to make it reads concise and better?

Question

The sentence is blued in the following.After then, I would like to switch to biostatistics. The motivation comes from the recent loss of my mother to cancer, which has been making me think that it would be better to see myself spending my career primarily in cancer research using methods of biostatistics.Thank you so much!

Philip · Accepted Answer

OseeThe sentence is blued in the following.

After then, I would like to switch to biostatistics. The motivation comes from the recent loss of my mother to cancer, which has been making me think that it would be better to see myself spending my career primarily in cancer research using methods of biostatistics.

Thank you so much!

It is a long sentence, but I think the structure is sound. It's fine.

Anonymous · Answer

I am an American school teacher with two degrees and 23 years of experience.  This sentence is a classic example of a "run-on" sentence.  I get tired before I get to the end of it (LOL).  One hint is to break it up at the comma.  Remember, you can get all of the information in with good grammar.  Run-on sentences can be broken up into separate thoughts, which do not confuse the reader.  This is how I would rephrase it:  "My motivation comes from the recent loss of my dear mother to cancer.  This tragedy has made me consider spending my life and career doing cancer research using the methods of biostatistics."  You see, all of the information is still there, but with a certain economy of word choice.  Don't try too hard to impress your readers.  The laconicness gets tiring, meaning wordiness.  *** bless you in learning English, which is hard to learn.  jarishtx

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I agree with you that shorter sentences are better, both here and often as a general rule.

However, in my experience, a 'run-on sentence' is usually defined as two or more sentences that are improperly joined according to the rules of grammar.

eg Tom bought a car it is red.

I haven't heard the term 'a run-on sentence' used simply to mean that a sentence is undesirably long, although we do say things like 'it runs on a bit'.

Best wishes, Clive

Oran · Answer

I envy you so much, because you have this wonderful gift of the English language. I have just joint this forum, because I needed an answer to a question I posted. “I can’t spell”.

I get so embarrassed when I go onto forums due to my grammar and spelling. No matter how many times I spell the same word, I cannot remember the correct way. I spell check all the time.

You would think after so many times of using the same word, it would be imprinted into my brain. When it comes to words my spell centre of the brain is like a sieve. Mind you I have the gift of the gab but not the gift of the spell or written word.

It leaves me with such and empty feeling of hopelessness and sadness. The more I think about my inability to spell the worse I became.

Anonymous · Answer

how consumers buy

Clive · Answer

Hi,

how consumers buy

Do you want to use this as the title of an essay?

eg How Consumers Buy

Clive

Anonymous · Answer

would a person be compelled to adopt the convictions and follow through with actions?

Clive · Answer

Hi,

would a person be compelled to adopt the convictions and follow through with actions?

Would a person be compelled to adopt the convictions and follow through with actions?

I don't really understand the meaning here. How do you compel someone to adopt a conviction? That seems like a contradiction.

Clive

How to rephrase this sentence to make it reads concise and better?

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