How to improve my writing

Dear Sir/Madam,

I would like to ask, if you would be so kind as to check my sentence structure. I am not sure of other words to use.

This is my text so far.

The school environment is a place, where students can attend, to participate in all areas of their learning. Depending on the attitudes, beliefs and values of the Principal, teaching staff, and paraprofessionals, determines whether students feel they have a sense of belonging in this particular environment. Unfortunately, in our schools, there does exist a community of students who believe they are being compared to other students, therefore thinking that they are not worthy of being a valued member in the school community. Both experiences and Influences for these students will be either positive or negative. Schools that categorise students, especially those with disabilities, tend to label them as “different”, instead of acknowledging them (Milsom, 2006, pp66-72).