How is this poem?
PRIDE
I ferry the boat up the incline
Through rocks and boulders
Through the hardships and shine
It rains hail onto my shoulders
I exhale reputation
Having had inhaled smoke
I live in a mansion
In which I lay and choke
It's the end I wait
Not the process that kills
With anxiety and stress I date
They sit there dwelling in my gills
But in the end it's an absolute pride
With red roses and blue butterflies
Earning respect by my side
Until they disappear
And the ferrying starts again
Top answer
It's interesting, Nalini. A good effort. 'Gills' seems out of place unless the character is a fish.
- It's interesting, Nalini.
- A good effort.
- 'Gills' seems out of place unless the character is a fish.
- 'Anxiety and stress' seems out of register—rather stuffy objective words.
- 'Red roses' is a bit clichéd.
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It's interesting, Nalini. A good effort.
'Gills' seems out of place unless the character is a fish.
'Anxiety and stress' seems out of register—rather stuffy objective words.
'Red roses' is a bit clichéd.
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