0
Mrf18 Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
How good is this essay at addressing the prompt?
Hi! I'm super nervous about writing my college essay, as I've never been a good writer. I was wondering if anybody would be willing to look it over, maybe revise it and give some tips/criticism? I'd greatly appreciate any help!
the prompt is: Please tell us about the particular life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus that will enrich our community.
My dad lost his job when I was 10 years old. Since then, my family has been through a rollercoaster of highs and lows on the financial stability ride. My mother and father work hard to provide for us, but with no college educational background, they often take up part-time jobs that have us barely scraping by.
On the whole, I cannot complain. I am very fortunate to have a warm house and food in my belly. But on the wider scale, many of the opportunities that were offered to my peers were not as easily available to me. As such, I had to work hard to be sure I could have the same experiences as them. My parents constant dedication inspired me to work hard, reminding me that our poor background may be disadvantageous, but it was not an end.They worked hard in order to create an opportunity for ours and their future, and it inspired me to work hard to do the same for myself. I worked extra to be able to take lessons, I’d make connections through being a part of local groups, productions, and volunteer organizations, and I’d be sure to take every opportunity that was given to me. Though it was tough, it taught me many valuable lessons. I learned how to come up creative solutions to problems that at first glance seemed impossible. But most importantly, I learned to never give up.
College is an important step towards creating a successful future. I want to be able to carve out the best possible path for me, and as such, I will work just as hard at your university. I believe I will be a positive and hard-working student at your university. UW-Milwaukee offers a strongly-led student community, which creates many opportunities for the student to become involved in the community and succeed. I’ve always been someone who likes to put themselves out there and try new things, so I believe I will become an active part of your community. On top of that, UW-Milwaukee’s stress on the student’s success I believe will help me carve out a distinct path for my future.
the prompt is: Please tell us about the particular life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus that will enrich our community.
My dad lost his job when I was 10 years old. Since then, my family has been through a rollercoaster of highs and lows on the financial stability ride. My mother and father work hard to provide for us, but with no college educational background, they often take up part-time jobs that have us barely scraping by.
On the whole, I cannot complain. I am very fortunate to have a warm house and food in my belly. But on the wider scale, many of the opportunities that were offered to my peers were not as easily available to me. As such, I had to work hard to be sure I could have the same experiences as them. My parents constant dedication inspired me to work hard, reminding me that our poor background may be disadvantageous, but it was not an end.They worked hard in order to create an opportunity for ours and their future, and it inspired me to work hard to do the same for myself. I worked extra to be able to take lessons, I’d make connections through being a part of local groups, productions, and volunteer organizations, and I’d be sure to take every opportunity that was given to me. Though it was tough, it taught me many valuable lessons. I learned how to come up creative solutions to problems that at first glance seemed impossible. But most importantly, I learned to never give up.
College is an important step towards creating a successful future. I want to be able to carve out the best possible path for me, and as such, I will work just as hard at your university. I believe I will be a positive and hard-working student at your university. UW-Milwaukee offers a strongly-led student community, which creates many opportunities for the student to become involved in the community and succeed. I’ve always been someone who likes to put themselves out there and try new things, so I believe I will become an active part of your community. On top of that, UW-Milwaukee’s stress on the student’s success I believe will help me carve out a distinct path for my future.
Top answer
You need to organize your thoughts. You have been asked to write about life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests. Try to write a separate paragraph for each of these.
- You need to organize your thoughts.
- You have been asked to write about life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests.
- Try to write a separate paragraph for each of these.
- Then add an introduction paragraph and a conclusion paragraph.
- Clive
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
1 Answers
0
You need to organize your thoughts.
You have been asked to write about life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests.
Try to write a separate paragraph for each of these.
Then add an introduction paragraph and a conclusion
You have been asked to write about life experiences, talents, commitments and/or interests.
Try to write a separate paragraph for each of these.
Then add an introduction paragraph and a conclusion
0
Related Questions