How does this sound? Sorry, English in my third language

Brief intro of the event
This wants to be a SPONSORSHIP letter for a SALSA BEAUTY CONTEST, first time organized in Vancouver.

The event will take place in 4 stages, every Saturday, in the month of November, and will be a contest, featuring both the skills and beauty of the female Salsa Dancers from and around BC.

The more money will be raised the better organization, a more appealing price, hence a higher number of participants.
At this contest, during the 4 weekends are expected over 27 couples and more than 3000 people.

Goal
Raising as much money as possible for a better organization, a higher first/second/third price, hence a higher participation incentive for the participants/dancers.

Request
The attached document represents what I came up so far with. However, as I already stated on the topic title, English is my third language and I will need some constructive criticism from the English native speakers. Any comments, ideas, will be more than welcomed.

Thank you anticipated for your time and effort!

Marinpa

P.S. In my country I use to work as a journalist ( for about 12 years) and I was an almighty king of my language. In regards of the English language however, I am but a humble servant.

Dear Sir/Madame,

My name is Marin Para from AmCan Productions and I have been selected this year by BC Dance, and First Lust Dance to be the corporate sponsor representative for the Salsa Beauty Pageant of BC 2006. With over 18 years experience in dance performance, and dance related international events, BC Dance is the leading Latin Dancing schools and Latin Dancers Promoting across BC with a national and international recognition.
First Lust Dance is a Dancers Talent Agency with a consistent database of dance performers providing lead professional dancers to film productions/studios, party/dance events, public/private receptions, etc

For the first time this year, BC Dance, First Lust Dance and AmCan Productions are going to organize the first Salsa Beauty Pageant of BC 2006. The competition will last 4 weeks and a number of over 3000 people are expected to participate to this event.

Please see the SPONSHORSHIP OPTIONS page and let us know what is the degree of participation you would like to have as OFICIAL SPONSOR to this spectacular event.

Enclosed is a pledge card with a return addressed envelope for your convenience.
Please make sure to include what checks should be made payable to. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at 778 885 8567. I look forward to hearing that you will participate with us in this unique and exciting event

Sincerely,

Marin Para
Producer

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