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Spooner Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

How does this sentence sound

They reserve their sensibility not only for themselves but for others, they are compassionate without being condescending; their courage, far from being bravado, is the power that endures; and they take jokes in stride.

Hi,

I want to know how the sentence above which I wrote sounds to natives in terms of its grammatical structure and semantics and would greatly appreciate any insights or tips to make it sound more natural.

Thanks
  

Top answer

Hi, They reserve their sensibility not only for themselves but for others ; they are compassionate without being condescending; their courage, far from being bravado, is the power that endures; and they take jokes in stride. I want to know how the sentence above which I wrote sounds to natives in terms of its grammatical structure and semantics and would greatly appreciate any insights or tips to make it sound more natural Note the edit in red. You could consider removing the 'and', but I prefer it.

— Clive

  • Hi, They reserve their sensibility not only for themselves but for others ; they are compassionate without being condescending; their courage, far from being bravado, is the power that endures; and they take jokes in stride.
  • I want to know how the sentence above which I wrote sounds to natives in terms of its grammatical structure and semantics and would greatly appreciate any insights or tips to make it sound more natural Note the edit in red.
  • You could consider removing the 'and', but I prefer it.
  • In terms of oratory, the sentence has four parts.
  • The first three deal with high and noble attributes.
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3 Answers
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Hi,

They reserve their sensibility not only for themselves but for others; they are compassionate without being condescending; their courage, far from being bravado, is the power that endures; and they take jokes in stride.

I want to know how the sentence above which I wrote sounds to natives in terms of its grammatical structure and sem
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Thanks for your comment.

As for the last part clashing with the rest of the sentence,

do you have any suggestions on rephrasing it to make it sound less mundane?

Would using different words and expressions do the trick or does it warrant more fundimental changes?

How can I make "taking jokes in stride" sound more like a good quality a person can have

so
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Hi,

I'm not even sure exactly what your phrase means.

Try a few rewrites, and I'll check them for you.

Clive
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