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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

How could I write this better?

In addition, damage was reported at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memphis_International_Airport, where a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hangar lost its roof, the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FedEx freight terminal's fire station suffered roof damage, (FedEx service was disrupted due to flight delays and closed roads from the tornado damage in surrounding areas) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airstair trucks were thrown 100 yards (91 m), and aircraft were moved around, including a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_737 that was moved one foot.
  

Top answer

Hi, In addition, damage was reported at Memphis International Airport , where a hangar lost its roof, the FedEx freight terminal's fire station suffered roof damage, (FedEx service was disrupted due to flight delays and closed roads from the tornado damage in surrounding areas) airstair trucks were thrown 100 yards (91 m), and aircraft were moved around, including a Boeing 737 that was moved one foot. It's not bad. I'd just avoid the parentheses.

— Clive

  • Hi, In addition, damage was reported at Memphis International Airport , where a hangar lost its roof, the FedEx freight terminal's fire station suffered roof damage, (FedEx service was disrupted due to flight delays and closed roads from the tornado damage in surrounding areas) airstair trucks were thrown 100 yards (91 m), and aircraft were moved around, including a Boeing 737 that was moved one foot.
  • It's not bad.
  • I'd just avoid the parentheses.
  • In addition, damage was reported at Memphis International Airport , where a hangar lost its roof, the FedEx freight terminal's fire station suffered roof damage, airstair trucks were thrown 100 yards (91 m), and aircraft were moved around, including a Boeing 737 that was moved one foot.
  • FedEx service was disrupted due to flight delays and closed roads , all because of the tornado damage in surrounding areas.
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1 Answers
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Hi,
In addition, damage was reported at Memphis International Airport, where a hangar lost its roof, the FedE
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