How can you distance yorself from the others by the means of language?

Question

How can English people express social distance?
I mean how can you encode into your language that the person you are talking to is superior to you or simple 'out of your circles'?
How is 'that language' different from the one you use when you talk to a person who is equal to you or whom you are solidary with?

JohnParis · Accepted Answer

Hello Plexike and welcome to EnglishForward,
It's nice to have you join us.
Well - that's quite a question. I think I understand it because my second language is French. In French there is the familiar and formal forms. As with many other romance languages, this is often employed to make all sorts of distinctions - personal, social, economic and even age.
As you have noticed, English doesn't have this. That said, I do not know if I can venture an answer to your question without stepping on someone's toes (or perhaps their entire foot) and engaging a polemic I don't wish to start.
There are definitely ways English speakers used to denote class, education (or lack thereof), income, social standing and many other things - even humor.
We have a forum entitled "controversial topics" and you may wish to post this question there ()
Technically speaking, this forum is reserved for general questions of usage and grammar. I think you might get a better response there.

Plexike · Answer

Thank you very much, JohnParis!

I posted my question in the topic you recommended me.
My first language which is Hungarian also has such a distinction and I have these questions becauce my aim is to compare the English and the Hungarian languages in my final thesis.

Regards · Answer

Hi,

PlexikeHow is 'that language' different from the one you use when you talk to a person who is equal to you?

It is different in that you would have to speak more formally with whom you think is self-important.

You appreciate that he or she is not a fellow of yours and act accordingly. You may want to refrain from using

informal words in conversation and boast of your skills as a very good speaker. Practically speaking, in formal

speech we are inclined not to use too many contractions (we'd say, for instance, they are rather than they're) or

phrasal verbs (we'd say, for instance, expire rather than run out), as these are generally considered informal.

Nonetheless, you should note that your pompous speech could make or break you as a brilliant speaker: you may

sound odd and even ridiculous if you are not proficient in English and you use the wrong register.

Above all, you would have to be polite.

Here is an example of a formal tête-à-tête:

Mr Brown: Hello, Miss James. How do you do?

Miss James: How do you do, Mr Brown?

Mr Brown: Isn't it cold today?

Miss James: Shall I close the window for you?

Mr Brown: Please do.

Miss James: Where are your friends?

Mr Brown: Don't worry. They ought to be here by now. Would you care for some tea?

Mr James: Oh, thank you.

Mr Brown: Miss James, I'd like to ask you a question, if I may...

Note the modal verbs shall, ought to, may and would. These are highly likely to be used on formal occasions.

Regards

Khoff · Answer

Regardsyou would have to speak more formally with whom you think is self-important.

I don't think "self-important" is the word you want here. Someone who is "self-important" exaggerates his own importance.

Regards · Answer

Hi,

khoffI don't think "self-important" is the word you want here.

That's exactly the word I want here.

khoffSomeone who is "self-important" exaggerates his own importance.

I know what this word means.

Let me comment my way, please.

Thanks.

Regards

Khoff · Answer

RegardsI know what this word means.

Okay, but it's possible that not ever student reading your post knows what it means. you may have said exactly what you intended to say, but I thought some people might be mislead by your choice of words. In my opinion, one generally shows deference to someone that the speaker considers important, not someone who considers himself important.

RegardsLet me comment my way, please.

Of course you can comment any way you please. So can I.

Anonymous · Answer

I have read that in England, as soon as someone opens his/her mouth to speak, the listener will immediately know that person's class status by his/her accent. Then the listener will know how to reply.

Plexike · Answer

That is interesting, thank you! Do you remember where you read it? It would be great if I could mention that in my thesis.

CalifJim · Answer

Plexike How can English people express social distance?I mean how can you encode into your language that the person you are talking to is superior to you or simple 'out of your circles'?How is 'that language' different from the one you use when you talk to a person who is equal to you or whom you are solidary with?

I believe that in English all of this is done through the choice of words. We don't have enough inflectional endings to accomplish this through the grammatical machinery. Every native speaker has a built-in register-detector that operates on the basis of statistical sampling. Through constant exposure to the language some words come to be known as high-register words; others are certainly low-register. Speakers choose higher register lexical items when speaking to someone they judge to be important or of high status in comparison to themselves. Here are some greetings, listed from high to low register, as an example.

Good day, sir.
Good morning.
Hello.
Hi.
What's up?
Sup?

In addition to "register", you might want to research "pragmatics", "conversational implicature", "felicity conditions". I can't guarantee those topics will lead you to anything you want, but they may help you to generate some ideas about which direction you want to go in.

CJ

JohnParis · Answer

The stage play Pygmalion, by George Bernard Shaw, addresses your query quite well. The connection between how one speaks, chooses vocabulary, etc,. and the socioeconomic elements you mention form the principal subplot of the work. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_%28play%29

Hollywood made the film My Fair Lady based on Shaw's play.

How can you distance yorself from the others by the means of language?

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