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Raji Posted 22 years ago

How can I say?

Dear Readers,
Once again I am here with you to share my latest poem.
Please spend your some valuable moments to write me.

Looking forward for your valuable comments, suggestions and ideas.

Kind Regards

Raji

----
H o w Can I S a y ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


One day
You were asking me
With closed lips
With silent words
With asking eyes
From bottom of heart
Your question was same
But
I was quiet
With blank of mind
I had nothing to say
You had nothing to wait
You left without saying anything
Without knowing anything
You did not understand
How can I say?
I lost my life...
When I lost you
  

Top answer

Sorry, I have been quite busy but I would like to say that I find the meaning of this poem really touching. Although you could have used more sophisticated words, sometimes the truth lies in simplicity. The only thing that escapes my understanding is ' Your question was same'.

— Maj

  • Sorry, I have been quite busy but I would like to say that I find the meaning of this poem really touching.
  • Although you could have used more sophisticated words, sometimes the truth lies in simplicity.
  • The only thing that escapes my understanding is ' Your question was same'.
  • Maybe you could change that line.
  • What do you think?
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7 Answers
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Sorry, I have been quite busy but I would like to say that I find the meaning of this poem really touching. Although you could have used more sophisticated words, sometimes the truth lies in simplicity. The only thing that escapes my understanding is ' Your question was same'. Maybe you could change that line. What do you think? keep up posting your poems. I really enjoyed this one.
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A very charming descriptive poem.
Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you MAJ for your valuable feedback and suggestion and bundle of thanks for spending some valuable moments from your busy schedule.
Actually we new writers always need feedbacks and comments on our creations that polish our thoughts.
After your indication I feel “Your question was same” is unnecessary line in this poem. So I am deleting this line.

Once again thanks for
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Wow, that sounds good.

One day
We were playing hide and seek
on the attic above
When the sun escaped a cloud
from behind a bush you screamed
'Baby you are my doll'
But
I was frightened
like never before
the streets took me for a ride
a drink calmed my pride
you knew the horizon inside
my smile could not lie
the bareness o
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I am extremely sorry RadRook for replying too late. Thank you very much for your encouraging comments.

Kind Regards

Raji
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Wao Maj, excellent. Your poem is too good.

Thanks for sharing of this simple, descriptive and touchy poem.

Best Regards
Raji
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RajiOne day You were asking me With closed lips With silent words With asking eyes From bottom of heart Your question was same But I was quiet With blank of mind I had nothing to say You had nothing to wait You left without saying anything Without knowing anything You did not understand How can I say? I lost my life... When I lost you

When I read this poem,

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