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Rommel Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

How can I make the word virus not redundant in these sentences? Is my revision okay?

How can I make the word virus not redundant in these sentences? Is my revision okay?

Unedited sentences:
Filoviridae can cause hemorrhagic fever in both human and nonhuman primates like monkeys, gorillas, and chimpanzees. Its two identified members are Marburg virus and Ebola virus. Five pinpointed Ebola virus species are Bundibugyo virus, Sudan virus, Taï Forest virus, and Zaire virus, all of which are known to cause disease in humans, and Reston virus, which can cause disease in nonhuman primates only.

My revision:
Filoviridae can cause hemorrhagic fever in both human and nonhuman primates like monkeys, gorillas, and chimpanzees. Its two identified members are the Marburg virus Ebola viruses. Five pinpointed Ebola virus species are the Bundibugyo, Sudan, Taï Forest, and Zaire viruses, all of which are known to cause disease in humans, and the Reston virus, which can cause disease in nonhuman primates only.
  

Top answer

I don't think you've overused the word virus. You're not being clear about the taxonomy. It's hard to advise you since I don't know your audience.

  • I don't think you've overused the word virus.
  • You're not being clear about the taxonomy.
  • It's hard to advise you since I don't know your audience.
  • The Filoviridae is a family of viruses.
  • This family comprises two groupings, one containing the various Marburg virus species and the other containing the Ebola virus species.
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3 Answers
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I don't think you've overused the word virus. You're not being clear about the taxonomy. It's hard to advise you since I don't know your audience. The Filoviridae is a family of viruses. This family comprises two groupings, one containing the various Marburg virus species and the other containing the Ebola virus species. There are five of the latter (B, S, TF, and Z). "Family" has the right
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deadrat If you're dealing with people who aren't technical, you might want to start from the bottom: explain the species first.
Please let me know if the following revision I have made is fine:

The five known Ebola virus species are Bundibugyo virus, Sudan virus, Taï Forest virus, and Zaire virus, all of which are known to cause disease in humans, and
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RommelMarburg virus and Ebola virus are the two identified members of the Filoviridae family.
I would say, "The Ebola viruses form one of the two commonly-known groups of the Filoviridae family; the other is the Marburg virus group."

This makes you technically correct, since there's a Marburvirus group (actually a genus) with no space in the name and

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