Hi teachers, hope you would help me review this essay about education

In some countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary school. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the advent of technologies, the world is becoming more and more developed. However, some countries are facing the rising percentage of unemployed people, which makes some people believe that giving chances for those children who seem to be unemployable is useless. Personally, I completely disagree with this belief.

On the one hand, exposure to junior high school is the best environment for them to learn several soft skills. For instance, apart from homework, they have to work on group assignments or presentations, which demands them to work alongside others, coordinate ideas, as well as manage the team. As a result, this would not only give them insights to team spirit, communication, and collaboration but also enhance their critical thinking, the cognitive skill of problem-solving and argumentation, which are basically indispensable skills for their future jobs in this modern life.

On the other hand, I strongly do not agree with those who merely assess these children’s abilities when they just accessed elementary education. Apparently, grammar schools equip them with primary knowledge of numeracy and literacy, when some school-aged children still do not have enough cognition to develop, which clearly could not decide whether they would be out of work in the future or not. Whereas secondary schools offer the concrete foundation for schoolers about a plenty of new concepts such as science, physics, etc. This, by contrast, could pique student’s curiosity, and so on, they could have basic learning orientation and find their own dreams to conquer. For example, Albert Einstein and Edison were attributed to be useless when they were small until they explored their own passion and became a globally acclaimed success until now.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that we should give all children the same opportunities to have access to high-quality education in order to provide them vital skills and knowledge that make their job prospects brighter.

(316 words)