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My Huỳnh Posted 8 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Hi! Please help me correct my report? Thank you so much- Writing task 1.

The bar charts illustrate data about how many British graduate and postgraduate students participated in activities, namely part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment, after completing courses in college in 2018.

In general, the number of graduate students taking part in each activity was about ten times as much as that of postgraduate students. Meanwhile, the figures for students engaging in further study were highest in both groups.

Looking at the first bar chart, top of the list was the number of graduate students going into further study, at 29,665 students in 2008. This was followed by the figure for part-time job, at 17,735. Next came the number of students who went into unemployment, at 16, 235 students. Finally, in last place was the figure for voluntary work, at 3,500 students.

Turning to the second bar chart, the number of postgraduate students taking part in further study in the UK was ranked first place, at 2,725 students, making it significantly higher than the number of postgraduates who participated in part-time job, at 2,535 students. Meanwhile, 1,625 students went into unemployment, considerably more than the figure for voluntary work, at 345 students.

  

Top answer

nh after completing courses in college in 2018. You need the word university instead. In general, the word college means something else, in the UK.

  • nh after completing courses in college in 2018.
  • You need the word university instead.
  • In general, the word college means something else, in the UK.
  • nh who went into unemployment, Not natural.
  • It would be better as who were unemployed .
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2 Answers
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My Hu?nhafter completing courses in college in 2018.

You need the word university instead. In general, the word college means something else, in the UK. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College#United_Ki

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We do not "participate in" work or jobs. "Participate in" is not a proper verb. "Activities" refer more to sports, hobbies and leisure time.


The bar charts illustrate data about how many British graduate and postgraduate students participated in activities, (That is not a good descripti

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