hi, I need a second opinion regarding my motivation letter. would you help me? :) what do you say of this one.

University of Westminster
October 07, 2011

Dear Sir or Madam:
I am applying to your Master programme of “MA International Relations and Democratic Politics” starting in January 2012. My career ambition is to become a University lecturer in International Relations.
I finished my bachelor degree in International Programme of “International Relations” Department in Muhammadiyah University Yogyakarta on August, 2008. I finished my final paper in approximately three months and I rank among top 20 students.
During the years in University, I have joined social and cultural organisations to broaden my connection and links. I also did part time jobs outside my campus to gain experience and knowledge in working. In my third year, I joined student internship in one of the local television media here in Yogyakarta province. And in my last year, I was fortunate to have an exciting opportunity to assist the research of one of my lecture’s doctorate dissertation.
Complementing my strong academic performance are my advanced skill in teaching and communication. At the moment, I am working as a full time English instructor for a company running in higher education system. I train practical English with multimedia applications such as internet, power point and a set of Liquid Crystal Display (LCD) in a vocational school. I also work as a part time teacher in an English course institution. Here, I teach students coming from various ages and background. Working in two different places has taught me excellent time management as well as organizational skill.
In the mid 2012, I have accomplished a challenge by taking part in teaching English to three Libyan students who could not speak English nor Bahasa Indonesia. They came to continue their master’s in one the Indonesian Universities. We had to reform not only their skill, but also their thought pattern and prejudice toward English. Since these students were adult but zero in English, we taught them material taken from various resources with various media and customization. Tutoring has taught me to work diplomatically and successfully with a wide variety of students.
By studying in your programme, I’m confident that I can secure my future career as a University lecture and benefit my surrounding community. I believe that education is one of the vital requirements to development. Since Indonesia remains struggling to further and greater improvement, it needs plenty more young experts who have skill in International politics, diplomacy and security to maintain and to defend the Indonesian position. So not only is educating people noble, by teaching students in this area, I will contribute to the forming of high quality Indonesian leaders.
I want to study at the University of Westminster because of your outstanding educational system, excellent facilities and great locations. The detailed overview of the course is ideal for providing me with a development path professionally, personally and nationally, means that the courses offered also fit my country’s recent condition. The University also provide excellent updated equipment and environment to support the development of the students. And the wonderful city of London offered not only beauty but also dynamic society and is headquarter of many International companies.
From collecting information on the internet, brochures, joining the University page and student union on facebook, checking the official websites, chatting with as well as reading the alumni testimonials, I’m confident of my decision to pursue my master’s in your University. With the combination of my previous educational background, present working experience and joining your master’s programme, I am convinced that I will be a very good lecture in the future which will benefit not only me and the community, but also the forthcoming Indonesia.
Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,
Diana Fatmawati S.IP