Hi, I have an IELTS exam coming up and I need someone to help me out with writing an essay

Here is a practive essay I tried to do..... Please make corrections. I need to get AT LEAST a band 7.

Thanks!

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.



Many international events like the World cup and the Olympics have been celebrated for hundreds years. It has been attended and joined by different nations around the world. I believe that International sporting events have given positive outcomes in easing international tensions and riffs between nations. And, it also does release patriotic emotions in a safe way.

Many of us know that there are some countries that do not get along with each other, like North and South Korea. They are divided by different governments and beliefs. But when the World cup events begin, they turn into one unit that fully support their soccer players, may they be from the North or from the South. Thus, showing that sporting events are important in easing tensions between countries.

Sporting occasions have been known to make a nation work together. A good example of this is the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada. All Canadians from all provinces and all parts of the world cheered on for the Canadian team. Win or lose, everyone felt proud to be a Canadian. This shows that sporting events do help citizens to be patriotic in a safe way.

Therefore, it has shown that events like the world cup and the Olympics has had a pivotal role in giving positive results in terms of international tensions, and that it makes citizens of a country celebrate patriotic emotions in a safe way. It is expected that Sporting events will continue to yield a positive effect all over the world.