Hi I am writing an email to ask about uni transfering, could you please check it?

Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like enquire about transferring to your university after my first year studying Biomedical Science at Middlesex University; I would like to transfer to the 2nd Year of your biomedical science Bsc course. The course that I am on at this moment is Biomedical Science Bsc Honours accredited by the Institute of Biomedical Science (IBMS).
I have come to a conclusion that I am not enjoying studying in this university and I am really having trouble acclimatising to this University.
Below are my results from Secondary school and Sixth form Education. I have gained 310 UCAS points, my low grades at University are partly due to a member of my family passing away and my Illness during/before the exam period. I can assure you my A level results does not show my academic capability. I have inserted a web link that directs you to my current course specification listing all modules. http://www.mdx.ac.uk/Assets/BSc%20 Hons%20Biomedical%20Science%201-12-08.pdf
11 GCSE's
• Edexcel Information and Technology A*
• OCR Science Double Award AA
• Edexcel Business and Economics A
• Edexcel Technology (Graphics Design) A
• OCR Mathematics B
• Edexcel History B
• Edexcel Geography B
• Edexcel Environmental Science B
• AQA English Language C
• AQA English Literature C
A level's and AS level's (310 UCAS Points)
• A Level - OCR Information and Technology B
• A Level - OCR Biology C
• A Level - OCR Chemistry D (1 mark from C)
• As Level - OCR Computing C
• As Level - OCR Physics D
I hope to hear back from you.
Your's faithfully,