Hi everyone ,i going to take CAE but it is very hard for me to self -assess my own wrting. Whoever familiar with this kind of standardized tests please make some constructive criticisms so i can improve. Thank you very much

Question

Let's immerse in our escapist world !Who can join? Are you an avid movie theater fans but haven't found an appropriate outlet for your burning passion? Or you are an extrovert by nature who like being surrounded with new friends and experience .Or you are a freshman who find it hard to find a group of close friends to fall back on. Join our club!! You guys not only can make new friends but also can feel a great sense of community and free-spirited ambience in our club.About our club   We hold member gatherings at college theater every Monday .We usually watch various types of films from many exotic countries .After that we usually divide our members in small groups to make some discussions in English after every film .Each month we will have a special guest .Last month we had Miss Lynna Truong, who is a director from minority group be able to make it in Hollywood .Her debut movie "Normal"which is  about a platonic friendship between an archetypal "jock,dumb" white boy and studious but impoverished Asian girl.Besides that  , she will share her own experience about glass ceiling,racial unfairness and upward mobility in this glitz and glamour industry .Plans for next year We will change our gatherings 's place to coffee bar because it opens later in day, which is well-suited to most of the students's schedule.Don't dilly-dally anymore!! Join us!

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Also keep the "subject" line very short. Include the extra information in the message body. Use your best English, too! There are a lot of simple mistakes here, as I have highlighted.

: Hi everyone ,i going to take CAE but it is very hard for me to self -assess my own wrting. Whoever familiar with this kind of standardized tests please make some constructive criticisms so i can improve. Thank you very much

I am more familiar with IETLS, but the tests are similar. Here is an overview of CAE:

You have 90 minutes to write two texts. Each text should be about 220-260 words long. Part 1 is always an essay, while in part 2 you have a choice of 3 tasks (letter/email; proposal; report; review).

The examiners assess you on 4 elements:

Content - Did you do the task you were asked to do?

Communicative achievement - Did you use the right tone and level of formality?

Organisation - Did you link paragraphs together? Is there a logical flow?

Language - Did you show off your sparkling vocabulary or did you merely use First Certificate words?

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Let's immerse in our escapist world !

The title of the article is very obscure. Is our world escapist? What are you going to immerse? (It is not grammatical because immerse is a verb that requires an object.)

The next line is "out of the blue". I am already a member of our world, but I don't believe it is escapist! You never mention the name of the club, or its web site. This will not get you good marks!

You have a lot of punctuation errors. Do not put a space before an period or comma. You also have a lot of grammar errors. You did not use many linking words and cohesive devices.

Who can join?

Are you an avid movie theater (wrong word. Some people do want to preserve the beautiful art-deco theaters built in the early days of film. ) fans (wrong form ) but haven't found an appropriate outlet for your burning passion? Or you are an extrovert by nature who like (wrong form ) being surrounded with new friends and experience .Or you are a freshman who find (wrong form ) it hard to find a group of close friends to fall back on. Join our club!! (What club are you talking about? ) You guys not only can make new friends but also can feel a great sense of community and free-spirited ambience (wrong spelling, and also not used naturally) in our club.

About our club

We hold member gatherings at college theater every Monday .We usually watch various types of films from many exotic countries .After that we usually divide our members in small groups to make some discussions in English after every film .Each month we will have a special guest .Last month we had Miss Lynna Truong, who is a director from minority group be able to make it in Hollywood .Her debut movie "Normal"which is about a platonic friendship between an archetypal "jock,dumb" white boy and studious but impoverished Asian girl.Besides that , she will share her own experience about glass ceiling,racial unfairness and upward mobility in this

glitz and glamour industry .

Plans for next year

We will change our gatherings 's (wrong form ) place to the coffee bar because it opens later in day, which is well-suited (wrong form ) to most of the students's (wrong form ) schedule.

Don't dilly-dally anymore!! Join us!

Some people are fans of the architecture of old movie theaters.

Hi everyone ,i going to take CAE but it is very hard for me to self -assess my own wrting. Whoever familiar with this kind of standardized tests please make some constructive criticisms so i can improve. Thank you very much

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