Hi everyone! I am posting my Study plan for Bachelors degree. Please help!Any comments would be helpful!!

When I found out about the slogan of the University of .......... which is “Imagine the future” the quote of Brian Tracy came to my mind: “All successful men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose”. In order to succeed in the future we should dream and put our goals as high as possible simultaneously work towards them.
Being a .......... student is great opportunity for me to understand people’s behavior, their values or what they prefer. Surrounded with international students I can acquire valuable knowledge and real college experience. So, why this should be ........ and University of ............?
From my freshmen year I have been thinking about where I could apply for my further education. ......................... was one of my choices that I included in my list. I preferred .......... because of quality and economical education opportunities at high standards, cultural wealth, friendly environment and modern campuses of it. I am sure if I will have a chance to be part of University of ......... I will have an opportunity to enjoy unique nature, deep rooted history and rich culture, delicious food as well as qualified education. Also, I am sure that I will make lifelong friends and share amazing experience with them because ....... people are very warm and friendly. I had a chance to meet a lot of Japanese and I can say that they are all polite, friendly, helpful and very kind. University of ........... is one of my best preferences for education.

Our country has become independent exactly 21 years ago. Being part of SSSR our culture, tradition, history, customs, language and religion had been under strict control. I was born after a year proclaiming our independence but from words of my grandparents and parents I have a very clear vision of these times. Our young independent country has transferred itself rapidly and changes are astonishing. In the matter of fact, Uzbekistan has entered an era of radical transformation in the economic, political and social spheres. The past few years, which have opened a new chapter in Uzbekistan’s history, have been by no means easy.
A lot of attention is paid to change the economic, political and education system however, aged mentalists are still one of the main considerations could be taken into count. These changes could be made by young, intelligent, motivated and most importantly by future generation who are full of spirit of democratic ideals and internationalism. It is the youth who will take the future of Uzbekistan and that’s why it is very necessary for us to develop our own interests and goals.
However, it is disappointing to say but we also have as other countries do the Brain Drain situation. Most of the time people argue that these people love money and call them betrayers. If we could stop this situation and explain to every one of them that our government would support and help them to realize their ideas for the benefit of our country probably our country could become one of the developed countries in the world. We need young, highly educated, talented, skilled and creative manpower who can contribute in development our country and our nation. I consider myself to become one of them in the future. Since gaining its independence, Uzbekistan has been establishing relations with many countries. Therefore, we need many specialists with rich experience, good language and leadership skills and so on. We can’t resurrect Gandhi or King but if we put our heads together we can do anything, even change the world. Dedicating myself studying my chosen field and acquiring all the vital skills I want to be useful specialist to further development of my country.

I think that I am an appropriate candidate for the scholarship at University of ........... To be an international student at University of ........, I would receive such an incredible opportunity to get one of the most appealing degrees I wanted to major for a long time and at the same time to receive it around people who have unique culture, history, food and many more. This is something I do not want to miss. I was privileged to travel to US and I was lucky to have that chance to understand their way of life. This opportunity and my 10 months experience sparked interest to social science. I was very excited to find out from my friend about this program and actually I was thrilled to know there is an offer to one of the appealing and interesting fields I want to study. With my rich experience, educational progress, cultural awareness, eager to be part of various activities I can be a great candidate for ..... My leadership skill and being able to express my thoughts without hesitation, persuasive skills are my best qualities I gained from my life experience. I overcame challenges and failures and I was never afraid to lose because these failures made me stronger. I have never run away from obstacles instead I tried to solve them with the most creative way. The qualities and skills I have definitely will help me to succeed in my future career.

I had a chance to share our culture, customs, national cloth, language, music and even dance and used every possibility and chance to be part of such kind of events in WA and CO, US. It was a great pleasure and honor for me. I enjoyed every gathering, events and parties where my sister and I performed and then explained our dance moves, words from songs, showed our national costume and jewelry. As I was a volunteer for AUAP (Asian University American program) students I was lucky to be part of that program because I have met wonderful people, became good friends with all of them and shared and talked a lot about our own traditions and customs. Moreover, they were very curious about my country and at the Farewell party my sister and I danced our traditional dance. It was great pleasure for me to share just a little piece of my culture with my friends that I became very close for the short period of time. Being able to spent time with international students made me realize again this is what I desire to do; understand people, their culture, lifestyle, desires and morals.

Also, If I will be enrolled ........... I intent to help every student who would be willing to learn Uzbek, Turkish, Russian or English. I gained experience working with AUAP students and having part time job at English courses. . Being able to help and motivate others to succeed is one of my proudest achievements in my life. I used to support all my classmates, group mates and friends from various clubs by helping them with their English or other subjects. Also, I would be definitely be part of international groups and being as a member I would share my knowledge and skills how to prepare Uzbek cuisine, dance moves , language, traditions, customs and many more things that could be interesting for them.
I am very active at social events or holiday celebrations and since middle school I have taken part in every single of them.
I intent to be involved in all kinds of groups, activities and social gatherings and by doing this I will represent my country, Uzbek language, cuisine, costume and everything that is related with me and my country. I believe I deserve the honor of being a student at University of .......... Furthermore, being bilingual motivated me to learn English, Turkish, Kazakh and now I intend to learn Japanese as well. ........... being official language is indeed essential in every student’s daily life even though the classes will be taught in English. So this program is not only providing me with qualified education but I would be privileged to learn this language.
As I am a very active person I want to involve in sports at University of ....... too. I was able to learn ice skate during my stay in US. We do not have ice ring in my country so I did not miss my chance to learn ice skating. Furthermore, I found out about zumba which involves aerobics and dances such as rumba, salsa, tango and many more Latin American dance styles. I am never tired of trying new things and challenge myself. With every challenge passed by me I prove that everything is possible if you try and put your heart on what you are doing. First, in my free time I want to try to learn kendo. As to mention that we do not have Kendo in .... unfortunately.

this is the scholarship essay which can help me to get to interview selection level. Grammar, structure and many more should be revised and changed. So please help!!!!