hi every one could you correct my eassy please :)

Question

hi every one could you correct my eassy please

its essay describing your favorite teacher. Choose 3 characteristics to describe
him/ her
Make sure each topic sentence is developed in one body paragraph and supported by details. Use transitions

My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite or their worst,my best teacher I remember her being my favorite all through out high school.

She is organized Makes efficient use of time and moves in a planned and systematic direction. Knows where he or she is heading and is able to help students in their own organization and planning. Can think in terms of how organization can be beneficial to those served.

Also she got sense of humor,she knows how to take the tension out of tight situations. Uses humor, spontaneously, in a tasteful manner. Builds togetherness in the classroom, through the use of humor.

And she is very compassionate ,Caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level. Open with personal thoughts and feelings, encouraging others to do likewise. Knows and understands the feelings of students.

I thought school was pretty boring,But she made things come alive.becouse she taught me more than History, She taught me how to think independently.

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

Aoosh, welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry to say that you have a significant number of errors in your essay.

Here are two things I see: you use commas to join sentences together instead of periods, and you have left out the subject in many of your sentences. For example "Builds togetherness in the classroom" requires a "she."

You did not name your teacher or say what subject she taught. It would be very logical to say "My favorite teacher was Mrs. Smith, who was my history teacher through all four years of high school."

I'm sure she was organized, but is that really what made her a favorite teacher? The humor and the compassion make more sense to me. I remember many of my teachers for being funny, kind, inspirational, or very knowledgeable, but not for being organized.

Do you want to take these comments and try to rewrite your essay?

Aoosh · Answer

ok i will try again

thanx
now what do you think??

My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite or their worst.my best teacher I remember her being my favorite all through out high school.

My favorite teacher was Miss.Sarah my ninth grade history teacher .I consider her my favorite teacher ,becouse she was soft-spoken, self-effacing, a thoughtful and honest teacher .and she made learning fun She is organized Makes efficient use of time and moves in a planned and systematic direction. Knows where he or she is heading and is able to help students in their own organization and planning. Can think in terms of how organization can be beneficial to those served.

Also she got sense of humor.she knows how to take the tension out of tight situations.she Uses humor, spontaneously, in a tasteful manner. she Builds togetherness in the classroom, through the use of humor.

And she is very compassionate ,Caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level. Open with personal thoughts and feelings, encouraging others to do likewise. Knows and understands the feelings of students.Each morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers and exemplars in my school.

I thought school was pretty boring,But she made things come alive.becouse she taught me more than History, She taught me how to think independently.

BarbaraPA · Answer

You have made some improvements, but some of those same errors are still there.

Your sentences that begin with verbs need subjects.

Also, remember that you end wiht a period, leave a space, and then start a new sentence with a capital letter. Capital letters (except proper names) should not pop up later in the sentence.)

This part is very good:

Each morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers ~~and exemplars~~ in my school.

Aoosh · Answer

My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite or their worst. My best teacher I remember her being my favorite all through out high school.

My favorite teacher was Miss.Sarah my ninth grade history teacher . I consider her my favorite teacher ,becouse she was soft-spoken, self-effacing, a thoughtful and honest teacher . And she made learning fun. She is organized makes efficient use of time and moves in a planned and systematic direction.

Also she got sense of humor. She knows how to take the tension out of tight situations. She uses humor and spontaneously in a tasteful manner. Although builds togetherness in the classroom through the use of humor.

And she is very compassionate ,caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level. She is open with personal thoughts and feelings. she is encouraging others to do likewise.She Knows and understands the feelings of students. Each morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers in my school.

I thought school was pretty boring , But she made things come alive. She taught me more than History, She taught me how to think independently.

I hope now is ok i tried my best
and thank you for your time

you are really nice person to help me

Aoosh · Answer

come on some one replay me plz
is it good now??

Doll · Answer

Aoosh My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite or their worst. ~~My best teacher I remember her being my favorite all through out high school.~~ Use this: My best teacher was Ms or Mr.... .He/she was was my a lesson name teacher at high school.

My favorite teacher was Miss Sarah who was my ninth grade history teacher .You should add this entence in the first paragraph. I consider her my favorite teacher because she was a soft-spoken, self-effacing I don't know this adjective. , thoughtful and honest teacher and she made learning fun. She was very organized.She would ~~makes efficient use of time~~ use the time efficiently and follow ~~moves in~~ a planned and systematic lesson. or her lessons were planned and systematic ~~direction.~~

Also she had sense of humor. She knew how to take the tension out of tight situations. She would use humor ~~and~~ in a spontaneous do you need this? ~~ly in~~ a and ~~tasteful~~ mannered way. ~~Although~~ Morover, she would build togetherness ( I hope you try to mean this) in the classroom through the use of humor.

Morover/Next/ To tell more/ she was very compassionate ,caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level. She was ~~open with personal thoughts and feelings~~ good at her relationships with people. She is ~~encouraging~~ would encourage others to do likewise.She knew and understood the feelings of the students. Every morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers in my school.

Lastly, I thought school was pretty boring but she made things come alive. She taught me more than history. She taught me how to think independently.

I hope now is ok i tried my best
and thank you for your time you are really nice person to help me

Anonymous · Answer

Barb, thanks for letting us do this!

(I think you will have to correct mine too..)

Aoosh My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite or their worst. My best teacher I remember her being my favorite all through out high school. --> I would say: "What I can remember is she being my favourite one during my high school years"

My favorite teacher was Miss.Sarah my ninth grade history teacher. --> What about.."She was known as Miss Sarah. A ninth grade history teacher." ~~I consider her my favorite teacher ,becouse~~ She was soft-spoken, self-effacing, thoughtful, honest teacher and best of all, she made learning fun. She was organised, makes efficient use of time and moves in a planned and systematic direction.

She has sense of humor. She knows how to take the tension out of tight situations.--> What about "She is able to handle unexpected situations well"? She uses humor and spontaneously in a tasteful manner. Moreover, builds togetherness in the classroom through the use of humor.

Not only was she compassionate, caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level person, but ~~open with personal thoughts and feelings~~--> tolerant. Every morning she started the day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers in my school.

I thought school was pretty boring but she made things come alive. She taught me more than History, she taught me how to think independently.

Aoosh · Answer

My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite or their worst.What I can remember is she being my favourite one during my high school years.

She was known as Miss Sarah. A ninth grade history teacher.She was soft-spoken, self-effacing, thoughtful, honest teacher and best of all, she made learning fun. She was very organised. She would use the time efficiently and follow a planned and systematic lesson.

Also she had sense of humor.she know how to take the tension out of tight situations.She would use humor in a, spontaneous and mannered way.morover, she would build togetherness in the classroom through the use of humor.

To tell more she was she very compassionate ,caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level.She was good at her relationships with people.She would encourage others to do likewise.She Knew and understood the feelings of the students.Each morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers and exemplars in my school.

Lastly,I thought school was pretty boring but she made things come alive. She taught me more than history.She taught me how to think independently.

how about now guys:)

BarbaraPA · Answer

You got good suggestions above.

My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite (or maybe their worst). I can remember one of my favourite teachers during my high school years: Miss Sarah, my ninth-grade history teacher.

She was a soft-spoken, self-effacing, thoughtful, and honest teacher, and best of all, she made learning fun. She was very organised. She would use the time efficiently and follow a planned and systematic lesson.

She also had sense of humor. She knew how to take the tension out of difficult situations.She would use humor spontaneously. Morover, she would build a sense of togetherness in the classroom through the use of humor.

Additionally, she was she very compassionate, caring, empathetic and able to respond to peoples' feelings. She was good at her relationships with people, and she would encourage others to do likewise. She knew and understood the feelings of her students. Each morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm, and she was one of the finest teachers in my school.

Finally, even though I thought school was pretty boring, but she made things come alive. She taught me more than history: she taught me how to think independently.

Aoosh · Answer

My Favorite Teacher

Everyone has a teacher that they remember as being their favorite (or their worst).What I can remember is she being my favourite one during my high school years. She was known as Miss Sarah,my ninth-grade history teacher.There are many reasons why she was my favorite teacher of all times.First, she had a good heartand and she gave her all into teaching us. Second, she made learning history fun. Finally, she was good at her relationships with people.

One reason why makes her stand out in my mind to this day, she took a personal interest in each and every one of her students, serving as an informal counselor and friend to us all. She always seemed to affirm your value as a human being, always offered honest positive suggestions when needed, never seemed to get down on you, and always made us feel welcome whenever she saw us. She was able to teach a single concept in all three ways.And whatever question was asked, it was answered. She never disregarded anything or deemed it “irrelevant”, no question went unanswered. She always smiles when she sees me. And make me feel I'm remembered too. She always winks, and her wink!, makes me carry the biggest smile on my face and feel loved.I always remember her in this way, and others who knew her felt the same way.Thanks one and all.

Another reason why Miss Sarah was a favorite of mine because she had sense of humor.she know how to take the tension out of tight situations.She would use humor in a spontaneous and mannered way.morover, she would build togetherness in the classroom through the use of humor.I felt most confortable in the environment .She set up and it was fun every day. I had hated history up until that point, but she taught me to love it!. She was always so clear in her explanations and I could always understand what she was trying to get at. She always came into the classroom bring a positive attitude that set us all going.

Finally, To tell more she was she very compassionate ,caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level.She was good at her relationships with people.She would encourage others to do likewise.She Knew and understood the feelings of the students.She have The ability to motivate the student, to challenge them without pushing them beyond their comfort level too far and unintentionally discouraging them is important.Each morning she started my day by being loving and understanding. Her direction was gentle but firm and she was one of the finest teachers in my school.

I thought school was pretty boring but she made things come alive.She taught me more than history.She taught me how to think independently.Seeing her position of not pushing forth with information at every possible opportunity . we knew we had arrived at a place in our lives where we had to discover many or most things for ourselves, and without her saying it, we knew it was her job to help teach us how.

hi every one could you correct my eassy please :)

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