Hi! Could you please review my writing?

Hi, this is actually not an IELTS writing task 2 but an essay I wrote long ago to practise my writing skill. I am really grateful if you can read and point out my mistakes in the structure, grammar, vocabulary and how I conveyed my idea.

The topic is 'Urbanisation - Cause, Effect and Solution'.

Thank you in advance

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Urbanisation has been a growing trend in many countries over the last few decades. According to National Geographic, urbanization is the process through which cities grow. Higher and higher percentages of the population live in the city and frequently occur in developing countries.

So, what are the causes of urbanisation, or to be more specific, what has encouraged people to migrate to cities?

The initial cause is the following trend of industrialisation of an urbanising country. As the process of industrialisation drives a shift from old agriculture economics into a more modernised form, the demand for labour in the manufacturing and modern-job sectors with a high wage increase. For that reason, rural dwellers are prompt to move to cities so that they can get better jobs and probably, less physically demanding.

More so, urbanisation also offers countless social benefits alongside employment opportunities. As modernisation results from the urbanising process, one's life in a city is much more comfortable as people have access to advanced technology, medical care, social service, and a better educational environment. On this account, many people are charmed by the social benefits that rural areas cannot offer, so they choose to leave the countryside.

In most developing countries, urbanisation brings seeable impacts to the growth of social and economic aspects, including creating employment opportunities, advanced technology in transportation and communication, quality educational and medical facilities, and decent living standards. However, in the large-scale urbanisation that most countries are undergoing, the adverse effects outweigh the benefits.

Due to the high-level population density in the cities, overcrowding has become one of the main problems. People begin to take up significant tracts of land formerly used for agriculture and gradually use up resources of the area. Undoubtedly, the supplies of help would be too limited to provide for such high demand, and due to the agriculture-land acquisition, farmers will lose their land and become jobless. Furthermore, the dense population also causes severe pollution, contaminating the small number of remaining resources and severely harm the environment.

Not only that, but unemployment is also a severe issue that urbanising countries have to face. Although the job opportunities in the city are numerous, mass migration of people from the rural area makes it horribly inadequate, not to mention the migrate are mostly unqualified or lack intellectual capability.

Regarding these problems, the authority needs to have the initiatives to solve their persistence. For example, governments should establish a policy to encourage people to work and live in rural areas and control mass migration. They should also provide suitable jobs and essential services for all the residents, or at least provide assistance to the unemployed. So, with appropriate and efficient solutions, a nation can not only make use of urbanisation to develop their countries but also prevent negative outcomes to society and the environment.

In conclusion, the fast pace of urbanisation takes place in various parts of the world, and governments need to take appropriate measures to ensure a stable, instead of sudden urban growth.