Hi! Could you please review my IELTS task 1 writing?

Hi! This is my second time writing an IELTS task 1 and I found it pretty challenging to do this kind of writing I learned some basic structure about task 1 on the Internet but I think there would still be many mistakes in my essay. Could you please help me point out the errors and give me some writing tips?

I am really grateful for your help!

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The pie charts above illustrate household energy consumption in Australia and its effects on greenhouse gas emissions.

As presented, the use of energy is not necessarily compatible with the discharge of greenhouse gases. Overall, heating and water heating account for the two most-used forms of energy appliances. However, water heating takes the lead in greenhouse emissions while heating emits only a small percentage of gases.

In general, the most significant energy-consumption applicants in the first pie chart belong to heating with a proportion of 42%. Follow closely behind is the water heating of 30%, while other applicants are the least energy used in the trio, with a percentage of 15%. Besides, other categories include cooling, lighting and refrigeration occupy a small portion in the chart (2% for cooling, 4% for lighting and 7% for refrigeration).

As is observed, although the energy use of heating is the highest among other sections, it emits 15% of greenhouse gas - the lowest percentage compared with the trio. Meanwhile, water heating, which is the second lead in energy consumption, jumps to the first place (accounts for 32%). Other appliances show a big difference between their energy use and gas emissions. In addition, there is also a moderate difference in terms of other activities including cooling (3%), lighting (8%) and refrigeration (14%).