Hi, can u help me review this Ielts Writing task 2 essay please. thanks

Topic: Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems. Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment, while others believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Scientific and technological advancements have had a negative impact on the environment. While some people rely on technology to solve this issue, I agree with those who argue that a modest lifestyle is a more superior way to save the environment.

On the one hand, counting on the technology to prevent pollution is more advantageous to some extent. Sophisticated machines can have the power to clean the environment at a faster pace. For instance, the water bodies in residential areas are contaminated due to unprocessed waste from factories, citizens would use the water purifying equipment to clear the river streams in a flash. Furthermore, various forms of renewable energy can now be obtained by modern machines such as solar, water, and wind energy. This will alleviate the exhaust fumes to the atmosphere from overusing traditional sources like coal or gas.

On the other hand, a minimal lifestyle would benefit the environment more greatly. Particularly, instead of purchasing toxic chemicals and industrial cleansers to wash clothes or clean the house, households can create their own cleansing liquid from citrus fruits and vinegar. This not only reduces waste to the local areas but also does not destroy our health due to close contact to toxic ingredients. Additionally, living simply is safer for the surroundings in the long-run. As machines will surely be out-of-order and their frames might be dumped in natural places, reliance on technology would hurt the environment more deeply.

Ultimately, although science offers some conveniences, I believe that a basic lifestyle is a wiser choice to save nature.