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Chibi Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Hi, beloved members
Followed is an emotional writing and I really need someone to proofread it. Thanks!
I love you not because you are excellent. I love you because you are you yourself. The poem I wrote for you might not be perfect but it came from the bottom of my heart. I really want to send it to you. Sadly, now I am grown up to realize that I have been too dependent on you. I have believed all that you have said. I have been happy whenever I hear from you. Actually, your promises have just been for the sake of promises. You have told such things to many other people, not just to me. I have known that you are of the entire world, not mine. However, when I realized that your promises were not meaningful as I had thought I still felt a bit disappointed. Today, I have kept waiting, waiting for a reply. Perhaps, the reply would show me that some promise was true, but till now nothing has come … Anyway, good luck to you, my once angel!
I love you not because you are excellent. I love you because you are you yourself. The poem I wrote for you might not be perfect but it came from the bottom of my heart. I really want to send it to you. Sadly, now I am grown up to realize that I have been too dependent on you. I have believed all that you have said. I have been happy whenever I hear from you. Actually, your promises have just been for the sake of promises. You have told such things to many other people, not just to me. I have known that you are of the entire world, not mine. However, when I realized that your promises were not meaningful as I had thought I still felt a bit disappointed. Today, I have kept waiting, waiting for a reply. Perhaps, the reply would show me that some promise was true, but till now nothing has come … Anyway, good luck to you, my once angel!
Top answer
uhmmm, do you expect the recipient to reply to this?
- uhmmm, do you expect the recipient to reply to this?
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5 Answers
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Hi,
Actually, I am learning English and wanna improve my expression in any kind of writing. So I want someone to comment on this in terms of using the language, not in terms of content or emotion. Could you please help me?
Actually, I am learning English and wanna improve my expression in any kind of writing. So I want someone to comment on this in terms of using the language, not in terms of content or emotion. Could you please help me?
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Highlighted some things you need to fix.
ChibiI love you not because you are excellent,. I love youbut because you areyouyourself. The poem I wrote for you might not be perfect but it came from the bottom of my heart. I really want to send it to you. Sadly, now Iam grown up torealize that I have been too depe
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Thank you, Julielai. It will help me much to improve my writing. One thing to ask, I don't understand why you said "awkward" after highlighting the phrase "once angel"
Best wishes,
Best wishes,
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Just thought it was a bit awkward there. I think a nice goodbye will suffice.
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