Hi All, Please help me with this IELTS Essay

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Essay

The increase in the criminal rate among youngsters is unfortunate reality in the world today, which demands that they should be educated more carefully and earlier in their life to have a good behavior. Although many people believe that families and schools should inflict punishment on pupils in order to stop their bad behavior, I argue that punishment, especially corporal punishment has nothing to do with kids. Instead of this, guidelines and rules set by parents and extracurricular activities from schools are much better approaches, which will be analysed in this essay to prove it. Firstly, parents should set up clear rules and guidelines in family. In fact, many children nowadays absorb very dangerous patterns of behavior when watching violent movies and games by accident so that they should be aware of its detrimental impacts by their parents; and create a strict discipline themselves based on family rules. Indeed, some American psychologists state that children growing up in a family following its rules and guidelines strictly will be more well-adjusted and hardly to commit a criminal in the future. Thus, the strong link between parents’ orientation and children’s personalities proves that guidelines from adults and rules accepted by members of family are essential for obedient kids. In addition, schools should organize more exciting and efficient extracurricular activities related to awareness of wrong manners. For example, the highest rate of young criminals in Vietnam is statistically from schools or areas where children find it difficult to access to many kinds of extracurricular activities; and therefore, it is inevitable that they easily engage in bad habits. Clearly, these activities in schools achieve highly benefits in creating the connection between teachers and students, attracting children’s attention and promoting their perceptive skills. Therefore, it must be concluded that these activities in school is one of the best options to obtain kid’s awareness of manners. For these above reasons, it is obvious that discipline among members of family, adults’ guidance as well as valid school activities beside compulsory subjects would much more effectively improve young students’ behaviors and awareness than any kinds of punishment. I thus hope these can be applied more and more particularly in specific family and school in the foreseeable future.