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Hulkar Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

HI all! I would immensely appreciate objective feedbacks and suggestions on my Diversity Statement. Thank you so much in advance!

I am determined to be the first XXX, female Dr. XXXX in a lineage of XXX carpenters and teachers. I always knew that was my goal, but the road to Dr. XXXX was not the clear path I had imagined it to be. Living abroad was one of the few challenging parts of my life, dealing with financial issues throughout my undergraduate years that pushed to find new ways of funding my education abroad. I always knew academics was the one thing I wanted to put my whole heart into and focus on for the rest of my life.

As a child I grew up in a international environment, the family friends who archeologists, politicians, , anthropologists, social scientists all have impacted my thought process and develop multidisciplinary view points on environmental, social and economic issues. My upbringing was very rich academically yet growing up in a big family I knew I had to fund my education and career on my own. Luckily, I was able to land a full scholarship opportunity in an international undergraduate program taught in English in XXX. Living abroad as international student, I have faced with challenges such as being homesick, speaking a new language, and establishing new relationships. Yet, I became resilient, immersed myself in a new society and culture by staying open to new opportunities and experiences.

During my undergraduate studies, I have been awarded with full scholarships during 4 years of my studies., I was firm that I would like to give back and contribute to diversity. I have participated and acted as Cultural Ambassador allowed me to raise awareness about diversity and inclusion at the University XXX and mentoring and motivating middle and high school students. For my excellent academic results and passion for volunteering, I was awarded with XXXX Scholarship that led me to additional volunteer works, such as cleaning up the man-made XXX beach, planting trees in XXX, and supporting elderly farmers, and contribute to the society

Living in XXX has definitely led me to extraordinary experiences, and one of them was Cool XXX TV show when I have visited small rural island off the coast of central XXX City in XXX Prefecture, informally known as "XX Island”. The island has 150 cats that attracted a lot of tourists while the population number stood in 74. The cultural aspect of TV show was great, but I couldn’t disregard the fact that the Island was struck by the Great East Japan earthquake on March 11, 2011 which had significantly affected peoples’ livelihoods. I have interviewed local people about the post disaster adaptation initiatives and understood the importance of strong community resilience. This experience has truly inspired me and sparked my interest in the role of partnerships in building resilience.

Also, my academic interests and passion for environmental and social issues, led me to participate in United Nations Conferences in XXX and D.C., USA by representing UNICEF, UNESCO and UNDP. Through my active engagement, I have developed in depth interests in sustainability issues. Eager to expand my career in the sustainability, I pursued master’s degree with full fellowship at University oF XXX , one of the highly ranked institutions, 1stin Asia and 20thin the world. The interdisciplinary program forced me to go beyond my comfort zones and encounter various disciplines from land management, policy studies, sustainability science, urban planning, economics, statistics. During my graduate studies, I have taken up projects on sharing best practices for flood mitigation at the XXX organization and led multilateral meetings in international environment on sustainability issues. These experiences allowed me to expand my academic expertise by applying multidisciplinary thinking in work projects and shaped my interests and planted the seeds for the interdisciplinary PhD studies.

My experiences in the past have made me stronger, resilient and adaptable to new environments more than anything, they helped me uncover the traits I already had within myself. I have learned that life cannot come to a stop simply because of financial hardships or being international student and that when presented with opportunities that scare me, I should take them on.I am hoping to contribute through my rich academic and professional career experiences to programs diversity, as well as inspire my 3 younger sisters, XXX female community. I have been setting myself up for success during my entire undergraduate and graduate careers, and I am more than ready to take the next step in obtaining a PhD degree to pursue my dream career.

  

Top answer

This does not seem like a diversity statement, but a letter of motivation, personal statement or cover letter. What is the purpose of it?

  • This does not seem like a diversity statement, but a letter of motivation, personal statement or cover letter.
  • What is the purpose of it?
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2 Answers
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This does not seem like a diversity statement, but a letter of motivation, personal statement or cover letter. What is the purpose of it?

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I really struggle to follow your ideas. Each paragraph needs ONE main idea. I have added some comments and highlighted the unnatural, ungrammatical or poor text.



I am determined to be the first ***, female Dr. XXXX in a lineage of *** carpenters and teachers. I always knew that was my goal, but the road to Dr. XXXX was not the clear path I had imagined it to be. Living abr

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