0
Dni483 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Hi

Hi everyone can someone help me make this more formal to put it in my cv? An informationTechnology student who is keen to find a position in the computing industry. Trustworthy, reliable and dependable with a pleasant personality. Experienced in using computing systems and software and has been entrusted to take care of children.Able to work on own initiative or or as part of a team and can deal with administrative duties. Considering starting a job within photography field and ready to get into other fields such as shop assistant if possible.
  

Top answer

Your formatting is so poor that it is difficult to evaluate your text. How do you propose to present it? Post your text here as it will appear in your CV.

— Mister Micawber

  • Your formatting is so poor that it is difficult to evaluate your text.
  • How do you propose to present it?
  • Post your text here as it will appear in your CV.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

28 Answers
0
Your formatting is so poor that it is difficult to evaluate your text. How do you propose to present it? Post your text here as it will appear in your CV.
0
0
You have not a single sentence in the entire paragraph.

Your thought processes are chaotic. It would not impress a hiring manager.

Caring for children and using software are not related in my mind, unless you treat children as little computers.
You mention three employment areas that do not seem to be related (computing, photography, retail) with no prioritization.
"If p
0
0
That's the thing I need help to make it look right and also persuasive for the employee to hire me Emotion: sad

How about this:

0
0
Dni483How does that look?
You still have not managed to make one single complete sentence. If you write a paragraph, it has to be composed of sentences.

It shows a disorganized person, because your ideas are not sequenced in some logical order.
0
0
Will you help me to make it look good ?

Because I need it.

Thanks in advance Emotion: smile
0
0
How about this ?

A photography student, who is keen to find a position in the creative industry. Trustworthy, reliable and dependable with a pleasant personality also well creativity. Also experienced in using computing systems and software and has been entrusted to taking care of children. Able to work on own initiative or as part of a team and can deal with administrative duties.
0
0
I am a photography student who is keen to find a position in a creative industry. I am also experienced in using computing systems and software. I am able to work both on my own initiative and as part of a team and can deal with administrative duties. I am trustworthy and imaginative, with a pleasant personality.

trustworthy, reliable and dependable— These 3 words all
0
0
It looks good but as far as I know, when you are writing a CV is good to be talking in third person rather than first
0
0
Can you check if this is good ?

A photography student who is keen to find a position in a creative industry. He is also experienced in using computing systems and software. Able to work both on his own initiative and as part of a team and can deal with administrative duties. He is trustworthy and imaginative, with a pleasant personality.

He is also interested into any other indus
0
0
A photography student who is keen to find a position in a creative industry.
There is no main verb in this sentence. What does a "creative industry" mean? You also say later on that you are interested in "other industries." Are these the ones that are not creative?

He is also experienced in using computing systems a
0

Related Questions