helping for intention letter

Hello everyone! Please correct my intention letter for master's degree... Thanks very much!

I am writing to you this letter to express my interest to take up master’s study in your department. I have been aspiring to be part of your department for a long time now since I am aware that it provides the best education and environment for non-technical Fashion studies.

I aim to pursue a degree in _______ in your university because I have studied in ________ for bachelor’s degree, which is related to the master’s degree I want to take up, Fashion Study. I believe that your university is one of the best schools since it offers courses that will enhance my knowledge and provide me a better opportunity to enter this industry.

I have been studying Fashion history, culture and art since the second of my degree. I found these areas interesting because they provide the best explanation of the current fashion trend. I am desire to discover more about these domain to confront the complex and challenging international environment nowadays.

I have been a research assistant at my university that introduces me into academia. Experiments and data mining are my main duties that taught me patience and perseverance. The working experience introduces me into academic field. I am convinced that to be an academic researcher or teacher is the more direct way to make use of what I learnt.

I have also had experience of studying and living in ______. I finished a 6-month exchange study in _______. From my participation, I believe that _______ is an excellent place in fashion field, with its first-rate brands like _______ and ________ and a society that quickly integrates the latest trends. I, furthermore, truly appreciate the ________ university system which puts the student as a first concern. I am looking forward to discovering ________ further, living among its friendly people in urbanized cities with stunning views. _______, because of its dynamism, is the city that I would like to study in.

If I am chosen as a master’s student at your university, I will continue to work hard in order to reach my long-term goals in life. These goals include career advancement, improvement on professional knowledge about Fashion as well as contributing to the fashion industry. I want to be part of your department’s faculty to devote for the opportunity you have given me, if permitted.

I am grateful for having this chance to apply as a student in your university. I seek for a master’s degree in order to refine my knowledge and skills in Fashion aspect and the Master’s study at your university will be the most rational expansion of my academic pursuits and a major footstep towards attaining. I will be able to achieve my goals and enrich my knowledge to improve my skills further.

Thanks in advance...