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Syrdarya Posted 20 years ago
Vocabulary

Help:Home work(correction)

0Could you please help me to correct this text.02br
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00It is my sister's homework and I have to check it.02br
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00I am not sure with everything, so perhaps you have some suggestions?!02br
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00Alimentation In The Children Age 02br
00The Optimal Balanced Food – Base For A Suitable Alimentation For Children 02br
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00The optimised balanced diet is the base of an appropriate alimentary for children. It covers the nutritional requirement and the energy requirement and also prevents alimentary diseases. Additional vitamin compounds are not necessary. This alimentation rules apply for everyone. That is why it is ideal for the whole family. 02br
00The recommendations of the optimal balanced diet do not only orientate on individual nutrients but on food in general. The basis is the “Feeding Circle” of the German Foundation For Alimentation. The size of every segment tells us which role every food has. 02br
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00As you can see on the circle cereals and potatoes have the most important role. They are followed by vegetables and legumes, fruits, milk and milky products. Meat, fish, eggs, fats and oils should be consumed less than the others. Drinks are very important for children, since their bodies have a bigger water rate than the bodies of adults. Children should drink three-quarter of a litre or even one and a half litre per day; by heat, exertion or fever even more. 02br
00Children are also allowed to eat sweets but in masses. Furthermore you should make sure that they brush their teeth afterwards. 02br
00The human body needs nutrients all over the day. So, it is recommended to have three main meals and two snacks in-between. As a result the gastrointestinal tract is spared and the physical and mental performance is enhanced. 02br
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00Especially by children you should pay attention for healthy alimentation. 02br
00An appropriate alimentation for children has following requirements: 02br
00• It delivers enough nutrients. 02br
00• The energy content is adapted to children. 02br
00• It allows food which children like. 02br
00• It is realized without a great deal of time and much financial effort. 02br
00• It allows little extras like cake and candies. 0-
  

Top answer

02br 02br 00It's rather long. You'll get fewer answers here if you ask people to review long things for you. 02br 02br 00Best wishes, Clive02br 02br 01font 01font 00Nutrition For Children01font 00 02font 02font 01font 00alimentation does not seem like a good word to use, unless it is a technical word used in the course or context that you are writing for.

  • 02br 02br 00It's rather long.
  • You'll get fewer answers here if you ask people to review long things for you.
  • 02br 02br 00Best wishes, Clive02br 02br 01font 01font 00Nutrition For Children01font 00 02font 02font 01font 00alimentation does not seem like a good word to use, unless it is a technical word used in the course or context that you are writing for.
  • '02br 02font 00The Optimal Balanced Food – Basis For A Suitably Balanced Diet For Children 02br 02br 00Ooptimised and balanced nutrition is the basis of an appropriate diet for children which covers th ir nutritional and energy requirements, and also prevents alimentary diseases.
  • Additional vitamin compounds are not necessary.
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2 Answers
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0Hi,02br
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00I've made various changes.02br
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00It's rather long. You'll get fewer answers here if you ask people to review long things for you. It's better to just post the parts you are really unsure about, and then use what you learn to try to revise the rest yourself.02br
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00Best wishes, Clive02br
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01
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0Thank you very much for your help. 050010id1

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