0
Fatblackchicken Posted 20 years ago
Grammar
Help: Writting advertisement for a toy
I've written a piece of advertisement for a toy - short descriptions/introduction which will be printed on the toy's box - but I'm sure it isn't grammatically correct nor does it sound good.
The amazing flash flying ring flies straight up to 50m far - Super bright , auto light-up LED lamps create magic rainbow across the sky - Easy to play (or easy play?) with launcher
This toy is a kind of flying ring with LEDs on it, and these LEDs will automatically be lit up upon throwing the ring. The thing I called "launcher" is a tool with rubber strings to shot the ring instead of throwing it by hand - I think it must have a name but I don't know ^_^
The text above is just the beginning of the introduction which will be printed on the box. Please help me correct it and make it sound more interesting and attractive. Thanks in advance.
The amazing flash flying ring flies straight up to 50m far - Super bright , auto light-up LED lamps create magic rainbow across the sky - Easy to play (or easy play?) with launcher
This toy is a kind of flying ring with LEDs on it, and these LEDs will automatically be lit up upon throwing the ring. The thing I called "launcher" is a tool with rubber strings to shot the ring instead of throwing it by hand - I think it must have a name but I don't know ^_^
The text above is just the beginning of the introduction which will be printed on the box. Please help me correct it and make it sound more interesting and attractive. Thanks in advance.
Top answer
i like your name btw
- i like your name btw
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
4 Answers
0
0
Hi,
Welcome to t he Forum.
I've written a piece of advertisement for a toy - short descriptions/introduction which will be printed on the toy's box - but I'm sure it isn't grammatically correct nor does it sound good.
The amazing flash flying ring flies straight up to 50m far - Super bright , auto light-up LED lamps
Welcome to t he Forum.
I've written a piece of advertisement for a toy - short descriptions/introduction which will be printed on the toy's box - but I'm sure it isn't grammatically correct nor does it sound good.
The amazing flash flying ring flies straight up to 50m far - Super bright , auto light-up LED lamps
00
Thanks a lot Clive. It really sounds much better.
P.S: There's more of the text and I might need help later.
P.S: There's more of the text and I might need help later.
00
fatblackchicken, the type of writing you are talking about here, as Clive says, is pretty specialized. You may want to seriously consider hiring a professional writer who specializes in copywriting. (Not to disparage Clive's suggestion, of course.)
0
Related Questions