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Bbser Posted 16 years ago
Vocabulary
Help with wording
Hi there,
Could you please help me make this better?
Especially, do you have a better version for the blue part.
Using the blue part, I would like to express the idea that there were actually three dropped numbers: the number of smoking, the nubmer of hypertension, the number of both smoking and hypertension.
I appreciate your time.
Bbser
Could you please help me make this better?
Especially, do you have a better version for the blue part.
Using the blue part, I would like to express the idea that there were actually three dropped numbers: the number of smoking, the nubmer of hypertension, the number of both smoking and hypertension.
According to a survey conducted in 2002 and 2007 by the public
Health on the lifestyle choices of our community, the number of adults who smoked or had hypertension or both noticeably dropped. This was even a better news considering the adult population of our community had grown dramatically over the same period.
Anyway, feel free to make comments.I appreciate your time.
Bbser
Top answer
" it would flow a little smoother. The way you already had it worded was fine too, as it expressed the numbers just as well. I hope that was what you meant anyways, haha.
- " it would flow a little smoother.
- The way you already had it worded was fine too, as it expressed the numbers just as well.
- I hope that was what you meant anyways, haha.
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2 Answers
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There's nothing wrong with it, but if you reworded the blue text as "the number of adults who smoked, had hypertension or both noticeably dropped." it would flow a little smoother.
The way you already had it worded was fine too, as it expressed the numbers just as well.
I hope that was what you meant anyways, haha.
The way you already had it worded was fine too, as it expressed the numbers just as well.
I hope that was what you meant anyways, haha.
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Hi,
This was even a better news
'News' is an uncountable noun. You can't say 'a . . . news'.
This was news
This was even better news
Clive
This was even a better news
'News' is an uncountable noun. You can't say 'a . . . news'.
This was news
This was even better news
Clive
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