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Soka Posted 15 years ago
Grammar

Help with sentence

Please could you help me edit the following sentence. Is there any better way I can put it without using the highlighted part? :

1. Having being born in such a diverse country as India, I was surrounded by people from myriad cultures and backgrounds. Henceforth, I have grown to respect and value the multiplicity of human race. I have always been curious to interact with different kinds of people.

2. Having been born and brought-up in India, a fast developing nation, I have also come to realize that it is very important to get avant garde education
  

Top answer

Soka Please could you help me edit the following sentence s . Is there any better way I can put it without using the highlighted part s ? You have two sentences!

— CalifJim

  • Soka Please could you help me edit the following sentence s .
  • Is there any better way I can put it without using the highlighted part s ?
  • You have two sentences!
  • You can omit the highlighted parts or rephrase them, but that would not necessarily make them any better.
  • Soka 1.
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18 Answers
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SokaPlease could you help me edit the following sentences. Is there any better way I can put it without using the highlighted parts?
You have two sentences! You can omit the highlighted parts or rephrase them, but that would not necessarily make them any better.
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Thank you CJ,
Actually my teacher asked me to make the sentence a little 'less flowery'. She asked me to omit 'Having been born'.

Is this better:

I was born in India, one of the most diverse countries. Hence, I was surrounded by people from myriad cultures and backgrounds, and I have grown to respect and value the multiplicity of human ra
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SokaActually my teacher asked me to make the sentence a little 'less flowery'.
Interesting. I didn't see anything particularly flowery about those sentences. But in any case, your revised sentences are good.
SokaI was born in India, one of the most diverse countries. Hence, I was surrounded by people from myriad cultures and backgro
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Thank you once again,
CalifJim Again, I still prefer "to get the best education possible" or, more simply, "to get a good education", or possibly, "to get an excellent education".
Actually the sentence succeeding it is : But even more, I wish to be able to apply what I learn at any Institution and make a significant contribution to the society.
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SokaBut even more, I wish to be able to apply what I learn at any Institution and make a significant contribution to the society.
"institution" doesn't take a capital letter. [ Edit ] And no "the" before "society". Otherwise, the sentence is fine.
SokaSomehow I'm not comfortable with best/good/excellent education.
Any other sugge
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Emotion: mmm
I need to convey that I look forward to a liberal arts education.I need a word for it !
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But even more, I wish to be able to apply what I learn at any institution and make a significant contribution to the society.

Just to confirm: Is 'the' needed?

Many thanks.
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Thanks for catching that, YL!

No, there should not be a "the" there!

I will go back and edit that response.

CJ
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Many thanks, CJ, for the prompt response.
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I can't take credit for promptness.

It was just chance that I signed on at that moment. I've been off-line for several hours just now.
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