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Usenet Posted 23 years ago
Usage

Help with Sentence

I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm finishing up writing my personal statement. I just have to polish my concluding sentence, and I need some help.
If you want to read the whole thing*, you can find it at ftp://ftp.gurman.org/pub/Personal Statement.doc
The sentence I have right now is:
Nobody is perfect, including me, but I am proud of my ability to recognize the value of all voices and views.
I'm wondering if this is grammatically correct. If I say "nobody is perfect, including me" at the beginning, is "including me" sort of parenthetical? Is subsequently saying "but I am proud of my ability..." changing the focus of the sentence from "nobody" to me?

I figured that if there was anywhere that I could ask this question and get some good answers, it would be here.
Thanks in advance for your help!
*I have made my personal statement available only for reference. I am not asking for comments on the body, only on the final sentence. Thank you for your cooperation.)

Gail Gurman (Email Removed) Currently on the lookout for an Oakland area paralegal internship or part-time technical writing contract.
  

Top answer

[nq:1]I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm finishing up writing my personal statement. I just have to ... [/nq] I find no fault with its grammaticality, but if nobody is perfect, including yourself specifically is superfluous.

  • [nq:1]I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm finishing up writing my personal statement.
  • I just have to ...
  • [/nq] I find no fault with its grammaticality, but if nobody is perfect, including yourself specifically is superfluous.
  • " Other than that, the start of the sentence has no connection with the rest of it.
  • I didn't read the context, so maybe it ties the imperfections and that specific ability of yours together.
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39 Answers
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[nq:1]I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm finishing up writing my personal statement. I just have to ... Is subsequently saying "but I am proud of my ability..." changing the focus of the sentence from "nobody" to me?[/nq]
I find no fault with its grammaticality, but if nobody is perfect, including yourself specifically is superfluous. In fact, it suggests that you thinkl "gee, wo
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[nq:1]I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm finishing up writing my personal statement. I just have to ... I could ask this question and get some good answers, it would be here. Thanks in advance for your help![/nq]
Don't worry if the sentence is grammatically correct; do worry if the sentence belongs in the application. It is a major error to point out any deficiencies you possess,
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The inimitable Gail Gurman (Email Removed) stated one day
[nq:1]I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm finishing up writing my personal statement. I just have to ... Is subsequently saying "but I am proud of my ability..." changing the focus of the sentence from "nobody" to me?[/nq]
I agree with Skitt's and Murray's comments. I would also add that I find that certain kinds of sel
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[nq:2]I'm getting ready to apply to law school and I'm ... changing the focus of the sentence from "nobody" to me?[/nq]
[nq:1]I find no fault with its grammaticality, but if nobody is perfect, including yourself specifically is superfluous. In fact, it suggests that you thinkl "gee, would you believe that even I am not perfect?"[/nq]
Indeed. Or you could switch the emphasis - 'I'm not perf
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[nq:2]The sentence I have right now is: Nobody is perfect, ... ability to recognize the value of all voices and views.[/nq]
[nq:1]Don't worry if the sentence is grammatically correct; do worry if the sentence belongs in the application. It is a major error to point out any deficiencies you possess, even if it is a feckless attempt at humility.[/nq]
I hardly think that not being perfect wou
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[nq:1]I'm reminded of my rabbi's explanation at Yom Kippur of who didn't have to/wasn't supposed to fast: non-Jews, those too young, those for whom it would be medically contraindicted <<<<<<[/nq]
Now, there's a word! I like it. Can we suggest some meanings? m.
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[nq:2]Don't worry if the sentence is grammatically correct; do worry ... possess, even if it is a feckless attempt at humility.[/nq]
[nq:1]I hardly think that not being perfect would be seen as a "deficiency". I'm reminded of my rabbi's explanation at ... young, those for whom it would be medically contraindicted (including pregnant women). And those had been perfect the entire year.[/nq]
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[nq:2]I'm reminded of my rabbi's explanation at Yom Kippur of ... young, those for whom it would be medically contraindicted <<<<<<[/nq]
[nq:1]Now, there's a word! I like it. Can we suggest some meanings? m.[/nq]
I don't know if we need to suggest meanings because Olly North has already used it in his resume.
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[nq:2]I hardly think that not being perfect would be seen ... pregnant women). And those had been perfect the entire year.[/nq]
[nq:1]I got the impression, talking to a couple of friends, that there is some competitive element in the fasting. One ... about being able to go longer than her sister, who had taken something in the late afternoon. Is that common?[/nq]
It's not common among my a
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[nq:1]It's not common among my acquaintances. Where individuality seems to show is the way people choose to break the fast.[/nq]
Attacking, in the case of Israeli Jews, one's neighbours doesn't appear to be contraindicated, fast or no, on or about the date of a religious holiday or no. And with the implied backing of America, needless to say, despite world and UN outcries.

Charles Rig

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