Help with revise my paragraph

Question

Hi I need help revise my paragraph can you help me ? It will be at bottom, and thank you .

My favorite place is Indiana Fun Beach , it's the best place to go when it;s warm and have fun . I love going their , because you can eat , play , and have fun all at the same time . I remember when I used to love getting on the huge gigantic slide for the fun of it . This slide was so huge that it was taller than a giant itself . When i would get on it I would go down backwards , but go slow first then fast towards the bottom of the slide . This was always my technique when it come to slides , this makes it so much funner . When you know you had a blast and you know you had fun then you was at the right place and that's Indiana Fun Beach . My favorite place of all time fun.

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

Nicosha TracyHi I need help revise my paragraph can you help me ? It will be at bottom, and thank you .

My favorite place is Indiana Fun Beach , it's the best place to go when it;s warm and have fun . I love going their , because you can eat , play , and have fun all at the same time . I remember when I used to love getting on the huge gigantic slide for the fun of it . This slide was so huge that it was taller than a giant itself . When i would get on it I would go down backwards , but go slow first then fast towards the bottom of the slide . This was always my technique when it come to slides , this makes it so much funner . When you know you had a blast and you know you had fun then you was at the right place and that's Indiana Fun Beach . My favorite place of all time fun.

1. Punctuation marks go immediately after a word, then you leave a space. You don't leave a space, and then put the next word immediately after the mark.
2. Any word in bold has a problem.
3. Look up "comma splice." You have two of them.
4. "when I used to love" -- wordy. I remember how I loved... this sounds like a long time ago. Is it a place you go to now?
5. was your technique (past) when it comes to slides (present) - this mix of tenses doesn't work.
6. Your favorite place of all time, or your favorite place for all-time fun, but not the way you have it.

PS - Welcome to English Forums!

Anonymous · Answer

The Twentieth Century in Spain was a significant time period in which gender roles played a significant amount of impact on today’s society. The origins are an important factor when attempting to understand how and why society is exactly what it is in Spain’s society today. Constant pressure for women, especially those belonging to the upper class, was an issue in which women were under pressure to reproduce no matter the obligation to deliver male heirs. The author of the monograph, Early Modern European Society, by Henry Kamen discusses this obligation in the monograph simply stating women as “less free” by a startling quote from Polish princess Marie Leszczynska, wife of Louis XV saying, “Always going to bed, always pregnant, always giving birth” (167) when she described how women were always under this constant pressure. The origins that contributed to the significance of gender roles in Spain during this period of time and the focus on how and why gender roles were established the way they were will continue to be the primary subject to be discussed, as gender roles during this time period had a connection with many other issues individuals were facing such as racial inequality which is why this topic is so important to analyze and investigate. The issue of racial inequality with gender roles can be accounted for having an association with other themes as well such as the theme of humans and their environment and diverse ways of thinking. Obviously gender roles have a dramatic widespread difference in many more countries than just Spain; however, it is important to address the significance of how the gender roles in Spain have changed over time and how the history of this topic contributes to how gender roles are viewed today.

Help with revise my paragraph

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions