Help with Personal Statement for University

Dear all,

as many others I am currently in the application process for a master degree in a UK university. Most of them require a personal statement, while the standards reagrding length / allowed letters vary from program to program...

Of course I will change the Statement for each program, but I want to have a strong basis where I (ideally) only have to change the fifth paragraph, where I focus on the program itself... Here I think I can vary the most regarding the different length recommendations (for example, for Leeds I am not allowed to write more than 4000 letters, while Glasgow only says "one to two pages"...)

This is now already the seventh or eight draft I have after reading many examples here on the page, but I am not sure if I am heading in the right direction... So maybe you can help me to further improve my letter.

Many thanks already in advance!

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the Master “International Business” for the 2020 autumn term. While already working since one and a half year at Siemens AG in Nuremberg, Germany, this program will be the next step to hold a management position within Siemens or another international company. Having reviewed several graduate programs, I am confident that the University of Leeds has an excellent business program that best meets my career goals.

I graduated in autumn 2018 at the “Cooperative State University Baden-Wurttemberg Karlsruhe” with the Bachelor of Arts in “Business Administration – Management in Industry”. In this university, getting work experience is already integrated. I was employed by the Siemens AG, where I spent the time between the theory semesters in different departments such as logistics, accounting and product controlling. Here I learned to quickly become acquainted with different topics and working with diverse teams.

It also provided me the opportunity to gain international work experience. I worked three months in Bangkok, Thailand in the sales department. Being for the first time in Asia, not only was the culture and language a challenge. During my time there I had to write a paper about the optimization of the Profit Center structure at Siemens. I needed to find a balance between my work there, writing my paper, research for the theoretical chapters, schedule meetings with my tutor and discussing the results with my Siemens department. In the end it was worth it, because the paper was graded with a 1.5. This experience, together with three months I spent in Madrid to learn Spanish after finishing school, set the stone for my ambition to work internationally in the future. For my master degree I want to enhance these international experience with studying in the United Kingdom to further improve my English skills and get to know the working environment there.

Immediately after my degree I started working at Siemens in the procurement controlling of the “Digital Industries” division. I am not only responsible for the controlling of several German factories, I am also key contact for our international locations in China, India, Czech Republic or Mexico. I work daily with our management, performance controlling, IT or development departments. At the moment I focus on several projects with crossfunctional teams to further digitalize our reporting, for example RPA solutions.

Before moving to the next position, I want to enhance my future possibilities with focus on finance and corporate strategy topics. I am already working in a challenging, international, digitalized procurement environment. With these experiences I can contribute practical insights to the different lectures, case studies or group projects. Now I want to discuss these experiences with others, get new perspectives, while also extend my theoretical background and improve my analytical and problem solving skills.

While my career is vitally important for me, so are my extracurricular activities. At the age of six I started competing in mountainbike races. I reached my goals with competing successfully in German championships and being part of the Baden-Wurttemberg squad in 2013 and 2014. During the years I learned to overcome injuries, handle busy schedules and give one hundred percent both in sports and school. These experiences help me now to cope with a fast-changing and chaotic working environment. After my active competition time, which I ended in favor of going abroad and focus on my studies, I started training the kids in our club. Mountainbiking is an individual sport, but I always enjoyed training in a group with others, to achieve goals together and develop friendships with my competitors. This helps me now to work with people from different departments, where opinions are often contrary. Other outdoor activities I do are alpine skiing, riding horses and running. Besides, I enjoy reading, music and theatre.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely,