Help with Motivation letter

I am writing motivation letter for admission in the master program in Sweden. Please help me. here is my letter draft:
Dear Sir or Madam,

I wish to apply for the Autumn 2017 Master Programme in Exploration and Environmental Geosciences at Luleå University of Technology. I believe this programme can provide me with the best possible education, training, and opportunities for a successful career in the geo-resources sector. This program is particularly attractive to me for several reasons.

First and foremost is the world class faculty and research facility. The program offered here is the perfect stepping stone for my career plan in the mining industry. This degree will greatly help me with my career in the industry and further passage into the world of academia.

With a tradition of mining going back centuries in the past, Sweden is the largest ore producers in the EU. A steady economy, sustainable development policy, and expansive unexplored regions with the potentially vast mineral deposits have made the Swedish mining industry the most exciting and promising field for anyone who wants to work in the mining sector. The collaboration between Luleå University of Technology and the mining industry will introduce me to the immediate industrial issues and allow a smooth transition from the classroom to the field.

I have completed my BSc. in Petroleum & Mining Engineering from Shahjalal University of Science & Technology. During the years of study, I learned not only about the formation, accumulation, exploration, and extraction of a geo-resource but also the overall process of resource development. We readily took our lessons out of the classrooms. We had technical talks with the industry leaders and leading geologists. Our class conducted a study of the exposed sedimentary rock formations, depositional environment. topography and attitude of the beds in the “SitaPahar Anticline”, which is part of the Indo-Burman Folded Belt. As part of our on hand education, we visited the LTCC Coal Mining Project in Barapukuria, Bangladesh and Subsurface Hardrock Mining Project in Maddhapara. As part of our industrial outreach/acclimatization / introduction, we visited the Heavy Mineral Extraction Pilot Project at Cox’s Bazar and Participated in a four week extensive/crash/Professional training at our national industrial training institute, TICI, Bangladesh. I have a natural aptitude for laboratory and practical work. I am proud/thrilled/honoured to say that I performed admirably in all of the courses and passed with flying colours from TICI.

These gave me the opportunity to know the intricacy of the mining industry and the vital role it plays in the economy and development. This naturally attracted me as a most exciting and rewarding career field. Thus, I found my calling and I strongly believe being involved in the mining industry will allow me to utilize my potentials to the fullest and lead a fruitful life.

I was also involved in several extracurricular activities. I helped to organize blood donation movements and was glad to be able to teach and mentor underprivileged children at the municipality night school.

Though my undergraduate course covered all aspects of the mining industry, I have always felt drawn towards the exploration of new resources and devising effective extraction methods. My instinct for finding the ….. ( couldn't finish here)

I took great enjoyment in our lab experiments to find the most promising samples, and studying the drill core and log readings. In my final year project, I was delighted to be selected to study the feasibility and catalogue the georesources in the Kamalganj region of Sylhet, Bangladesh. I catalogued all the discovered resource deposits, their characteristics and conducted a preliminary study of their technical and economic feasibilities. I am honoured to say that my finding is one of the most recent and focused work done in that particular region and I received high praise from my supervisors and teachers.

After my graduation, I wanted to experience the real world, explore my country and give back to the community. I started working as a part-time Research Analyst at HipLead, a San Francisco based Startup Company. In recognition of my sincerity and hard work I received successive promotions and am currently working as a full-time Senior Data Analyst. My position gave me the opportunity to develop my analytical skills, project management, and leadership. I learned to perform in harmony and coordinate with co-workers from five continents.

Now I am ready to resume my education and fulfill my dream of achieving a successful career in mining Industry. My background, personal strengths and aspiration compel me to apply for a position in this MSc program. I do hope fervently that you will find me worthy of this opportunity.