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Fizzi Posted 17 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Help with English

Dear all,

Can somebody please comment my English?

"Given the absence of study in India, no recent studies in Sweden and Italy, the absence of comparative data among this three countries and the absence of comparative data on the Y, this study aim to provide: "

Regards,
Fizzi
  

Top answer

" However, the beginning is so front loaded that by the time you get to the main clause, you're a bit lost. Make the first part its own sentence. Previously, there were no recent studies in Swedan or Italy, and no studies at all in India, precluding a comparison of data among these three countries.

  • " However, the beginning is so front loaded that by the time you get to the main clause, you're a bit lost.
  • Make the first part its own sentence.
  • Previously, there were no recent studies in Swedan or Italy, and no studies at all in India, precluding a comparison of data among these three countries.
  • Additionally, there was no comparative information on Y.
  • This study ...
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4 Answers
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Hi Fizzy,

At the very least, "this study aims to provide."

However, the beginning is so front loaded that by the time you get to the main clause, you're a bit lost. Make the first part its own sentence.

Previously, there were no recent studies in Swedan or Italy, and no studies at all in India, precluding a comparison of data among these three countries. Additiona
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Hi Grammar Geek,

How about this?

"To our knowledge, no study has ever assessed the quality of vitamin information in newspaper advertising in India and no recent data are available on the provision of vitamin information in newspaper advertising published in Sweden and Italy.We noted that no comparative data on the quality of vitamin information in newspaper advertising amon
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Seems fine to me. You switched from "quality" to "provision." Was that on purpose? Otherwise, I'd say you're fine.
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Thanks Grammar Geek,

Yes that was on purpose. I tried not to use "provision" twice in one sentence.

Regards,

Fizzi

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