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Mahdimiri Posted 7 years ago
Letter Writing

Help with editing an academic email

Hello dear friends. would you help me with editing an academic email for professors, please ?
I have to send emails to them. please edit my text. here it is.

This is Mahdi Miri from Iran, an MSc holder in the field of Mechanial Engineering and more precisely in Energy Systems. I am writing to you on applying for my PhD degree. I obtained my degree from Sharood University with a total GPA of 4/4. I have looked at your profile and have studied some if your astonishing works in the field of Energy and I am so delighted that the result of my investigations are aligned with yours.

I have much proficiencies for advanced works _ as it is demonstrated on my CV. I will be honored to work industriously under your supervision as I believe that we have much common interests.

I would appreciate if you could inform me of the possibility of working under your suppervision for the PhD degree for the fall semester, 2020.

If you have any questions regarding my achievements and proficiencies, do not hesitate to contact me via my email address.

I appreciate your time and attention.

Sincerely yours,
Mehdi Miri

  

Top answer

Here are a few comments on your email. Dear Professor Smith, <<< You need a salutation This is Mahdi Miri <<< Don't say this. By convention, the reader will look for your name at the end of the email.

— Clive

  • Here are a few comments on your email.
  • Dear Professor Smith, <<< You need a salutation This is Mahdi Miri <<< Don't say this.
  • By convention, the reader will look for your name at the end of the email.
  • I would appreciate if you could inform me of the possibility of working under your supervision for the PhD degree for the fall semester, 2020 <<<<< Start with this.
  • <<< You need to enlarge on this statement, in a way that will catch his interest.
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1 Answers
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Here are a few comments on your email.


Dear Professor Smith, <<< You need a salutation

This is Mahdi Miri <<< Don't say this. By convention, the reader will look for your name at the end of the email.

I would appreciate if you could inform me of the possibility of working

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