Help with Applcation for a Master Program

Hello,

I have to write a motivational letter for my master aplication. I've read a lot of stuff that was written here and started to type my own. You'll maybe recognize that it is inspired by several previous post.

I would like to ask you to help with the grammar and choice of words. Please help me with the following:

I am applying to your Master program of "XXX" starting in September XXXX. This program is a concrete step to my future career ambition to become a doctor in the XXX field.

My first exposure to XXX was at the time when I was trained as a surgical assistant. Working in the hospital gave me insights into the everyday working life in the hospital, but although I learned a lot, the training could not suffice my thirst for deeper medical knowledge. Therefore I decided to study molecular medicine at the University of XXX.

My college studies had a duration of three years, where I learned all basic medical subjects, with emphasis on practical laboratory work. In June 2014 I will graduate with a Bachelor of Science degree with an expected above-average grade of XXX. Given my past history, I am confident that the scope of the masters program at XXX aligns with my personal aspiration to further specialize in the field of biomedicine.

In several internships during my studies I had the chance to gather practical experience. While working at the Dpt. of XXX and XXX XXX I took responsibility of a project in which I tried to find new markers for primordial germ stem-cells. In order to achieve this goal I had to plan a lot of experiments in a well thought out manner. Enjoying the aspect of being a manager, pushing projects towards their goals, I can clearly see myself someday in a leading position.

During my practical at the Dpt. of XX XXX was not only asked to determine the affinity of antibodies to several proteins but also to give a weekly presentation about my newest findings. I realized that good grades and experimental experience, though important, are not the only indicators of one’s researchers potential. In addition to that it is crucial to be able to communicate one’s ideas, either in written or spoken form. To enhance my communication skills I took courses in college in which students were asked to present new scientific literature.

During my work as a research assistant in the Dpt. of XXX XXX I had the chance to broaden my knowledge in statistics and bioinformatics. Here I had the to work with statistical software like R and SAS. I came to the conclusion that open-mindedness towards methods coming from divergent sources can help to improve scientific work significantly, thus I am constantly trying to look out for new innovative ways to overcome problems.

I want to study at XXX because it would allow me to enter a community of renomated scientists. The XXX offers the widest range of medical education in XXX, therefore it will provide me with an unique intellectual stimulus and the latest knowledge coming from experts at the forefront of discovery. Moreover, the large focus on gathering practical work experience and communication skills will give me opportunity to extend my abilities as a scientist.

Through my solid academic and experimental background and my strong determination to reach my professional goals I consider myself as a good candidate for program.